Jezebel’s Dishonest, Stupid “Year In Your Uterus”

Pictured: the most scientifically accurate thing in the entire Jezebel feature.

The idiotic blog Jezebel is a Gawker-powered hipster-feminist look at celebrities, gossip, sex, and politics. They want you to know they’ve had it up to here with your patriarchal rules, and they’re going to show you with their liberal use of the F-word and refreshing disregard for facts.

“The Year In Your Uterus,” a feature written by Erin Gloria Ryan, kicks off the first sentence with a swear word, to show you she is cool and snarky, and then jumps right into lying in the second paragraph. Here we go:

A strange and terrible group took interest in your uterus this year. They call themselves Personhood USA, and they want to redefine “person” to include all human tissue, starting at the moment of conception. Mass legal acceptance of this scientifically inaccurate principle would make it completely illegal for anyone to have an abortion, receive many forms of IVF, or take the morning after pill on account of the fact that, according to magic, a fetus becomes a grown ass human being at the moment the sperm decides it is.

Untruth #1:  No one is suggesting that all “human tissue” is a person. This is a stupid argument I hear all the time. “Well, okay, if an embryo is a human than I guess an ear or a nose is a human, too, huh?” No, genius. An embryo is a human because it is a whole, entire, separate human person. An ear and a nose are a piece of a human. I know it’s hard to wrap your tiny brain around the concept that an embryo is a human because it is really, really small, but we all start out that way. Infants are really small, too, compared to full-grown people. In our earliest stages of development, we are microscopic. In the immortal words of comedian Bruce McCulloch when pointing out The Doors had no bassist: “Don’t let that scare you. Let it free you.”

Moving swiftly along to Untruth #2, Ryan goes on to claim that what I just said above — basically, that conception creates a new human life — is “scientifically inaccurate.”

It’s interesting to me that people still make this argument, the way rotting meat is interesting and you want to poke it with a stick and see what crawls out. In other words, interesting, but kind of disgusting, and totally useless. Click on this word right here and you will be taken to a website where a lot of doctors and scientists say life begins at conception. I know it’s a hard decision to make — whether to believe the scientific claims of ob-gyns and embryologists or a blogger for a magazine named after history’s most notorious hussy — but look deep in your heart and I know you’ll choose wisely.

I really, really like Untruth #3, the part where she says “according to magic, the fetus becomes a grown-ass human being the moment the sperm decides it is.” This sentence is so… It’s so delightfully stupid and full of utter bull crap that I had to slow down and read it again, smiling. She gets you right off with “according to magic.” Her flippancy is intoxicating. It’s like a John Stewart smirk. You want to agree with whatever she’s about to say because you know it’s going to be so droll. Then she says, “… the fetus becomes a grown-ass human being…” Well, see, the problem is, nobody’s saying that. We’re just saying that, according to magic — oops, I mean science! — the embryo is a human being. It is not “grown-ass.” It cannot do all the things femihipsters do, like drive Jettas and shop at Urban Outfitters, but it is, without doubt, a human.

“The moment the sperm decides it is…” This part is weird and makes no sense and I still have a great deal of silly material left to cover so I am going to skip over it, but just please note how dumb that sentence fragment is.

The next dishonest piece of nonsense in Ryan’s article is a paragraph that begins, “Are you poor? F— you.” And goes on to describe how defunding Planned Parenthood is Phase One of a nefarious right-wing religious anti-choice plot to leave all poor women dying on dirty sidewalks of cervical cancer and unplanned pregnancies. Several states, in fact, are in on the scheme and have “defunded or attempted to defund the organization that provides low-cost health care to women this year, on the grounds that the mostly male lawmakers in Washington think taxpayers don’t want to pay for your lazy welfare queen uterus.”

Ms. Ryan is angry because some of us don’t feel we should be forced to pay for other people’s abortions, 99% of which resulted from a consensual sex act, or even for free or cheap birth control so that people can continue having sex. Your sex life is not a right I am prepared to pay for. If you want to have non-procreative sex, fine, free country. Pay for it yourself. At the risk of being accused of “slut shaming,” I don’t see anything that compels me to subsidize your sex life or anyone else’s. And if you have one of those “Holy crap, how did I get pregnant? I am merely a fertile woman having sex with a fertile male!” moments, forgive me if I don’t intend to see one penny of my money go to kill your baby.

As for the argument that Planned Parenthood is the only place where poor women can go for health care, first, that’s not true, and second, I don’t care if they provide free car washes for senior citizens every Friday. They are responsible for more U.S. abortions than anyone else, so they don’t deserve my money.

That’s not all the outrage to be found in “The Year In Your Uterus,” but I think I hit the high points.

When you see how the truth is distorted, sprinkled with clever sayings, and served up with snark in popular culture, you start to understand how so many people have no idea what the abortion industry really is and what it does.

  • Oh man, you had me right up until the anti-contraception part. ::sigh::

    • Matthew0910

      All those great arguments and you’re upset that she doesn’t want to pay for other people’s condoms?  Wow.  

      • I think that not wanting everyone to have affordable access to the form of contraception that’s right for them is counterproductive for pro-lifers.

        • PointeforJesus

          “…the form of contraception right for them…” I know a contraceptive right for everyone. It’s called abstinance. It’s not so much that poor people don’t have the right to have sex, it’s that they shiuld be looking at their situation and making the intelligent chioce. It seems to me that pro-lifers have a higher respect for people’s intelligence than pro-choice people. When you boil it down, people like Planned Parenthood are basically saying “be stupid all you want, someone else will pay for your stupidity,” (which applies both to taxpayers and to the baby), while pro-lifers say “we know that you are an intelligent person. All we’re asking you to do is make the intelligent choice.” It’s not about rights in this case, it’s about doing the intelligent thing.

          • You’re equating sex with stupidity. I don’t agree with that equation.

          • She is not equating sex with stupidity, simpleton. She is basically saying, If you cannot afford what comes a  result of action, then you should be smart enough to know not to engage in said action. Kinda like, “If you can’t do the time don’t commit the crime”…. And NO don’t be a wise-ass. I am not equating sex with committing a crime either.

          • Nik Armitt

            nope. Actually just pointing out that having unprotected sex when you know you can’t afford a baby and know it will be aborted is stupid… whiiiiiich it kinda is. it kinda makes a fair point… people would rather an abortion to buying a condom… whoop. I know people say not 100% but I aint a father and plenty of my friends are childless.

          • Anonymous

            What if a married man and woman are poor their entire life? Should they then never be able to have sex? That seems more than a tad ridiculous to me.

          • They should have sex, just don’t force me to pay for your birth control. What’s so fucking hard about this  concept?

          • Anonymous

            So you’d rather the taxpayers pay for the care of the children that come from said sex then pay a minuscule amount for birth control? illogical logic is illogical. 

          • In short, yes.  If I had to choose between supporting a growing but struggling family with my tax dollars or support horny adults with no self-control so that they can make themselves infertile or kill their unborn babies, sign me up for the first.  Children are an investment in the future of humanity.   

          • Anonymous

            You know, your judgmental and condescending tone towards people is just appalling. If two married adults (which is the situation I used) want to express their love to each other how is that being “horny” or irresponsible? And if the government offers free birth control then that is wonderful for them so they can do so without having to worry. 

          • Then supply them with birth control. NO ONE IS STOPPING YOU.

          • Anonymous

            I don’t have to when the government does. And I shall continue to volunteer my time at battered women’s shelters. 

          • WAIT- YOU are giving a lecture on being judgmental? Oh that’s just too rich

          • Anonymous

            I don’t see what’s so “rich?” I have not judged anyone. People here seem to know everything that goes on in a person’s life; for example that they should be able to afford condoms. I am saying that we don’t and can’t know. So quit calling people “horny” and “irresponsible.”

          • WTF are you talking about? I never called poor people “horny”and “irresponsible”

          • There are other ways in which they can “express” their love to each other.  Holding hands? Love notes? doing small acts of kindness.  Sexual intercourse is the #1 cause of babies.  If you’re not willing to take responsibility for the conception of a new life you should not be having sex.  It’s really that simple. Intercourse becomes a game of Russian Roulette, because the probability of conception exists even with Birth Control.  The problem is so many on the pro-choice/liberal side conflate sex and love as exactly the same thing, thus without one the other doesn’t exist.  It’s a very impoverished view of love, placing genital play as the only way love can be expressed in a marriage. Sometimes couples have to abstain because one member is ill, absent or unable.  What happens then? Do they stop loving each other?

          • Anonymous

            Of course not. But for couples who are poor their entire lives, and especially for women that don’t have a regular cycle, you are asking something that should never have to be asked. And I have worked with many poor, married couples who can’t afford contraceptives.And trust me, they are anything but what you have described them as. 

          • Barbara

            In these cases I would actually supportsuch couples having children.  Although I question your example. Marriedcouples tend to fare better economicallythan single people since there are usuallytwo incomes in a household.  Also, I question the whole idea of “not being able to afford children”  

          • Nik Armitt

            LIES! You are a college kid probably and never had a proper job. Why lie? And what is that? TO PAY A FEW DOLLARS!!!! How many of them smoke? How many drink? Gamble? you prioritise. if you want sex more than anything else you pay for condoms. simples. Just stop lying about what you have done.

          • Nik Armitt

            ok if two married adults want to express their love via sex then fine… then buy a condom. soooo not that hard. It’s USA not Africa. You are right though, offering free condoms will stop all unplanned pregs… honestly… it wont be ineffectual. It is always that the guy cannot afford it not that he hasn’t got one but they do it anyway. this whole married couple thing is bs as how many of these are actually from marriages? How many of these girls that get free abortions have had them repeatedly? It is just how life is. some people will always work their hardest no matter how much money they have… some will be greedy. and some will simply take as much as they can. this isn’t just about pro life or money it is about society and what affect and message it would send. If you bail out your kid repeatedly he could become dependant on you… don’t help at all and he may turn on you. Abortions should not be free and free condoms wont help. You need to educate people and give married people a “free condom card” to keep 12angry_girls happy.
            Also sex and love are not exclusive. Unless you are saying that asexual people cannot love? Or are you saying that paralised people in a relationship aren’t loved or cannot love? Love is far more complex than your tiny mind could comprehend. Let alone be able to scribe into the digital annals of time in such a manner as to be flippant.
            On a lighter note don’t most married couples say the sex stops after the honeymoon?

          •  First of all, it’s, “THAN pay a…” not, “THEN pay a…” SECOND of all, you seem to think that the underlying issue behind our objection has to do with SAVING MONEY. That is not the POINT. (Why don’t you try to figure people’s motives, before hastily assuming that they are being ILLOGICAL? Try that next tine around, so you don’t look like a complete asshole.) If saving $ was the issue, we’d support abortion. After all, isn’t that cheaper than childcare expenses? We don’t however, support abortion because of that premise. We oppose funding for it like we do birth control, because you can’t say that something is a PERSONAL CHOICE  and that we should STAY out of your bedrooms, while demanding that we fund your choice. I do believe however, that it takes a village to raise a child. Once that child is born, the issue is no longer about privacy. 

          • Anonymous

            You are assuming that I support abortion, but I have never said that was the case. And I really do not see what is so wrong with helping two consensual adults make a smart, responsible decision; a decision that can reduce the number of abortions. 

          • I don’t see what is wrong with that either. But that help should not be compulsory.

          • Nik Armitt

            NO THEY SHOULD PAY YOU FUCKING MORON!! ARE YOU TWELVE SPASTICATED ANGRY MEN? OR DID YOUR DAD’S COCK GIVE YOU BRAIN DAMAGE. Sorry… I just cannot take the idiocy anymore. plebeian halfwits. No the parents should actually have to strangle the child themselves then maybe think about just not being so FUCKING CHEAP and buy CONDOMS. why cant you understand that? AMERICAN WOMEN: I feel for you. it seems a lot of amercian men don’t respect your body to even spend one dollar on a condom. the dates you have must be so bad – eating from a dumpster. Watching a movie through someones window. Ok I shit and it is natural give me toilet paper cause it is gonna be cheaper for you than me shitting in the petrol tank of your car. And shitting is something you do everyday and cant help it… I have to eat…. so y’know it is gonna be cheaper. Love how these morons cannot even look at countries that already do what they want… tbh I still find it weird y’all would be fine with a date being a cheapskate… ewwwww.

          • Nik Armitt

            who said that? Do condoms cost more than food and a tv in USA? SO should you also pay for them to have a holiday? no they are allowed. They should just have their wages garnished if they give the child up for adoption or pay for abortion or contraceptives.

          • Anonymous

            I think what’s unwise (don’t like the use the word “stupid”) is not using contraception.  And it’s pro-lifers, not Planned Parenthood, who say that someone else will pay for your baby, because you have to have it even if you don’t want it and can’t take care of it. Planned Parenthood save taxpayers millions of dollars by helping people prevent pregnancies. You may not like Planned Parenthood for other reasons but it makes no sense to say they don’t save you money.

          • Scragsma

            Check the facts, please. PP doesn’t help people prevent pregnancies, though they make a stab at pretending to. Clients of PP have a considerably higher level of unplanned pregnancies than the population as a whole, because they push the myth that artificial birth control methods work.

          • Nik Armitt

            What? What myth? Well I have used them EVERY single time and not one baby?!?!?!?! :O fucking stupid nonce lover.

        • Nik Armitt

          that sentence is terrible.. it hurt… it actually hurt. Not really as you see it as about money where as pro-lifers see it as also about setting precedent. If they gave out free contraceptives it would mean other things would have to be free. and for everyone. you give it to lowest class and the ones above will say “why are we punished for our privilege?” and they would be right. it is called compromise. something neither sides seem capable of. I personally believe that America has screwed itself over. Simple answer is give away shit free condoms and print “cheapskate” on them.
          Let me say this – if he can afford to buy her a drink he can afford a rubber.
          In the uk we offer it all for free and have the worst teen preg rate in EU. we are an embarrassment. We struggle with foster homes and care homes because although abortion is free it means jck shit. We give away free contraceptives. It hasn’t helped. you know what the implant, pill, etc has done though? Caused Chlamydia to make a huge comeback. And also caused a dangerous social group of females that now end up sleeping with that many men that by the time they are 30 they are worn out husks. They have lost all self respect. That isn’t feminism. That is still Male Domination. Why not spend money on teaching people to keep it in their pants or have a wank if they cannot afford a Dollar.

      • Anonymous

        I would SO much rather pay a tiny bit of money for someone else’s condoms than help pay the thousands and thousands of dollars it costs for prenatal care, labor and delivery hospital charges, welfare payments, and ongoing medical payments that could be incurred from a poor person having a child because they didn’t use birth control, and didn’t have the option of a safe and legal abortion (which would costs infinitely less than continuing the pregnancy) If it’s dollars you’re concerned about than being pro-choice is the only logical stance. 

        • Mbaker

          And dollars are more important that human life? Do tell!

        • Nik Armitt

          not really though… by that logic if you just bought all the drug dealers houses and cars they wouldn’t deal saving you money in the longterm? Ever think it’s maybe more than just money? it’s about responsibility?? I am pro-choice but I think it is stupid to say one thing deserves to be free and not another. Fair enough if all healthcare was free to everyone… but it isn’t. It’s like comedy – either all is allowed and nothing is off limits otherwise what’ the point? Something will always offend someone somewhere. So same with this – you can’t decide to give away some things to some people as you have to please the majority. or please nobody at all. you please some and it causes arguments amongst the populous.,

    • SuperLogic

      What makes you think you have a right to force other people to pay for your condoms??

      • Nobody pays for my contraception, because I am fortunate enough to be able to afford it. I think people who are less well-off should still have access to it.

        • Please do not be offended @ my comment.  If you really have a passion and you care for these people, start a charity or find one and contribute to it.  I think it would be great if everyone  had access to them as well except once people are forced to pay for one issue, then slowly like a frog being boiled in water, the Government will start taking until we are a Communist Country and we all know how that ends. P.S.  Give to Charitys, just think twice before you give to your
          Charity of choice as to which one really does the best for the most – or the
          least for the most, for that matter God bless & Happy New Year !

        • SuperLogic

          I think everyone should be able to have a beer every day, cable tv, and a big screen tv, doesn’t mean I think the government should be subsidizing these things either.    We need to stop expecting the government (taxpayers) to pay for everything.

        • Well, then YOU  help the poor people  pay for it. Nobody is stopping you.

        • Mbaker

          Really, how expensive is contraception? There are lots of generic pills that are very affordable. Condoms are not expensive. Unless you are getting something implanted in yourself, b.c. should not be that expensive.

      • Amy

        You’re thinking is a bit too narrow here.  You assume that the contraceptives provided by PP are condoms only – there are other methods of contraception, most commonly hormonal birth control.  Others seem to think that those who use contraception are impulsive, uncontrollable sex addicts – not true!  Hormonal birth control is primarily used for contraception, yes, but there are other uses (for instance, it helps to get rid of and control ovarian cysts which can be painful and sometimes life-threatening).

        • SuperLogic

          I am not thinking too narrow, just a simple way of saying it.   However look at PPs website to see how many condoms they handed out.  The majority of PP’s services (moneywise) is abortions!

        •  So women would die of ovarian cysts if it weren’t for PP?

  • guest

    Thank you!  The idiocy of Jezebel writers is depressing, but your response was hilarious! 🙂

  • Angel_ceci_3

    Fantastic! I completely agree!

  • @matthew0910

    Nailed it…again. 

  • Kristen

    I love reading your stuff, you hit the nail on the head. As for the person saying they didn’t like your anti-contraceptive rant, I do not believe it was so much anti-contraceptive but more like she doesn’t want to pay for some else’s contraceptive. I whole heartedly agree. If you want to use contraceptive, pay for it yourself. I don’t want to pay for someone else’s sex life. When I get married, I do not plan on having kids right away, I may decide to use non-hormonal contraceptive, I do not plan on having someone else to pay for it. It would be my sex life, I don’t need someone else paying for it.

    • Not everyone is well-off enough to be able to afford the form of contraception that will work best for them. I guess we could just say that poor people don’t deserve to have sex, but I don’t think that’s right.

      • Tdstec

        If you can’t afford condoms, you better not risk having a baby or an abortion. Both are alot more expensive…how about we assume that poor people are not drooling degenerates and have the self-control to wait until they can be accountable for their behavior???

        • So wanting to have sex, one of the most basic of human activities, makes someone a “drooling degenerate”? Of course they could wait, but I don’t agree that sex is a privilege for the well-off.

          • Jess

            nope. but it is a privilege for the principled.

          • Well that’s life, rich people can afford what the poor can’t. Should I fund guns for poor people who can’t afford them bc  owning guns is a right?

          • Linley

            My dear, what a leap you’ve made here. The main point in the Live Action v. Planned Parenthood battle seems to be abortion. The larger point that seems to be missed is the health care that PP provides for women and their children. They cannot afford health care otherwise. There aren’t enough free clinics. They can’t pay hospital bills. They don’t go for regular check-ups to make sure everyone is healthy so they miss early signs and end up unable to afford treatment for illness once it has escalated. If this is all unfamiliar to you it may be due to a lack of understanding of life without insurance. Insurance and health care in this country are treated like a privilege, not like the inherent human right they should be. PP is honoring women and children’s human rights. Live Action is honoring fetuses human rights; which in and of itself is something you are all entitled to. However, I beg you to see the larger picture. 

          • My dear what a leap you made here, i was replying to the notion, that birth control is not a right. What does that have to do with what you are talking about? MY DEAR, do you have ANY idea what the CONTEXT for my response was, or to WHOM  I was responding. BY the way, PP  HAS turned down certain women  due to lack of medicaid. Many services are done a sliding scale, that’s not the same as FREE… 

          • Tdstec

            Planned Parenthood is honoring women’s rights by aiding criminal behavior, paving the way for sex-traffickers, allowing statutory rapists to exploit children, and pedaling rampant racism and classism? Live Action has repeatedly exposed these truths in a way that even PP cannot adequately refute.Absolutely, we need to address healthcare in this country. Let’s start by revealing the lies this industry so shamelessly sells us and use the millions absconded from our tax dollars to tackle healthcare in a productive way. You, my friend, are the one blinded to the big picture. I challenge you to do some serious research and then make the same claims.

          • Pcn

            What if we changed the picture and PP only provided real health care?  Take the abortions out and I wonder how many people would have issues with tax payer money going to PP? It’s the idea of taking MY tax dollars to fund the killing of other humans that I find abhorrent.  I have no issue with using MY tax dollars to fund immunizations for infants born to low income families.  Tax dollars to save lives vs. tax dollars to take lives.  Big difference.

          • Smteghtmeyer

            As a poor person, (10,000 annual income with 4 people in our family), I resent the fact that the “pro-choice” want me to get my female health care at Planned Parenthood. As a teen I got health care there because I didn’t have a clue what they really are, and let me tell you, they had no idea what they were doing and they misdiagnosed something that would have taken away my ability to have children had I not taken myself to the health department later. They do not have the trained staff to offer real health care, they are only trained to abort babies. Just because people don’t have money to pay for health care because they have to choose between that and food and shelter does not mean they should have to go to an abortion clinic to be checked for serious problems. Hospitals have to care for these people, I know, I’m one of them. They usually have funds available for lower income families, and a good Dr’s office will help out those families too. Poor people don’t need planned parenthood, poor people don’t need you to pay for their condoms and birth control, poor people need you to stop assuming they are lazy worthless trash and should have to go to abortion mills for health care! Been dying to say this, I’m sick of people saying “we need planned parenthood so the poor people can have good health care” it is a lie. 

          • Nik Armitt

            when did this come into it? Woah. Okay okay – the ARTICLE (you know, that thing above) was about what JEZEBEL (you know that trashy pretentious and terrible blogzine) said about ABORTIONS. not about people and healthcare. WOMEN and ABORTIONS. Everyone seems to miss that… Yes, The USA has got pretty bad healthcare system. TBF though nobody asked you to have that many children. My mother was the eldest of 13 (Irish Catholic) and that was irresponsible of my Grandparents. It meant they had a brutal upbringing. One my Mother never wanted for me. In this day and age you can plan. Nobody is saying you are lazy. I am saying now though that maybe you need to also take account for yourself. Why is your combined earnings so low? Is the US really that fucked? The UK has problems so I am not throwing stones here. I am just struggling to see how anyone could A) live on so little B) Have children knowing they earn so little…

          • Tdstec

            You completely misconstrued my point. Having no impulse control makes someone a drooling degenerate. Left thinking has such utter disregard for the dignity of the poor that it presumes that the poor are incapable of accountability and need to be cared for as if they have no brain. My tax dollars providing food and shelter are not the same as me assuming total accountability for the behavior of a poor person. I would never do that. I have too much respect for people in general. I won’t assume accountability for someone else’s sex life and if I was poor, I’d be offended by your condescension.

          • SuperLogic

            We’ve sure descended into a nanny state the last few decades, where we expect the government to pay for everything.  And with every thing that the government pays for, we’ve handed them more and more power over us.   ie pensions, ui, day care, birth control, abortions, arts, even drug users enabling

          • HkateD

            You’re right, who would vote for  them if they weren’t completely and utterly dependent upon the government for food, permission to have sex and abortion?  You know that moment when your child so desperately wants that piece of candy and you have this brilliant idea “if you clean up your toys then you can have the candy” and your child scurries off to pick them up …  I think that is where we are at … if you vote for us … 

          • Nik Armitt

            hahaha… omg. Amazing. yeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaw! Arts ^.^ no doubt they will also pay for your child to be educated… even if it will be a redneck piece of shit like you. Cannot stand these kinda plebs. Yeah Art and Music is soooo bad. Be warned,Mister Bang Bang! I like art and music and might turn you into one of them demon queermosexuals. LOL. And pensions XD in UK we are angry that the state pension is so low… Then again I guess that is why USA is kinda seen badly… Katrina, Dude… Katrina. The only thing any of you really did was build pink houses that are now rotting. *slow claps* Maybe if your government spent less time killing and destroying and having to remind dumb rednecks to stop killing people you could afford to subsidise a lot more… hell if you could just go more than ten minutes without someone shooting up a school it would be something. How many police cars every year need a new mirror or windscreen due to being shot? How much do gun awareness campaigns cost? And a Nanny usually gets paid to look after, not pays. You guys!!! 😉 *thumbs up* seriously though the term is Welfare State. Nanny means something different. Similar. But different.
            Also “even enabling drug users” perhaps lay ff the hillbillie crack there, Bubba-jo. I kid. I am just quite a spikey and pointy character. I mean no offence. just being English.

          • SuperLogic

            I have no idea what your point is from that rambling, incoherent comment. Sorry, just being Canadian. 🙂

          • Nik Armitt

            Not really. You’re just being too myopic to follow. I am so sorry you missed the point. I always forget that right-wing tossers like you aren’t the sharpest knives. My point was, Sherlock, that you went all redneck about the arts. And about the government controlling it all… lol… I can even be bothered dumbing it down. Yeah expect the government to pay everything yet US government does nothing to help those less fortunate like those affected by Katrina that was partly due to local government skimping on repairing the flood preventions. But yeah make a joke. I was Born in France and so English isn’t my first language yet I still speak it better than you, you rem.

            Love it when an idiot shows how retarded they are by not getting something then tries to make you out to be the moron. Ahaha. Like when a dad goes through his daughters bag and finds cigs – she tries to make out the father is the one in the wrong. Classic. So is it just you, mr bang bang that acts like a little girl? Or all of Canada? I joke. Canada is a great State. One day it may even become as important as New York or Cali.

          • SuperLogic

            And more nonsensical gibberish. And yes,… you are the moron.

          • Nik Armitt

            “The moron” … so it is like Higgs Boson? Wow. So will it the difference incured between atomic and molecular mass? Lol. No, only nonsensical to a myopic, remedial, flea-brained, right wing, nazi, kard karrying klan member. If I am a moron that makes you what? C’mon son just because I spat on your mother’s back and left without saying goodbye. Im not the first. Lol. You are right though…. smart people tend to follow commas with full stops. And be gun-toting rednecks. As Matt and Trey said – blame Canada: it’s not a real country anyway.

          • SuperLogic

            Moron… like Higgs Boson?? What the heII are you talking about?? Do you mean “Molar”?? lol What a dimwit! Stick to what you know, like coloring books. That’s laughable a French guy mocking Canada, there isn’t a white flag that you haven’t waved yet. Your women have more balls than the men there. No go back to the little kids table and stop pestering me.

          • Nik Armitt

            Shitting is also a basic human activity should you pay for my toilet and loo roll? Also if sex is as you say it is does that mean US taxes should pay for terminally unfuckable people to get laid? Okay okay okay… so in the USA if you contract an STI is it treated for free? And if hipsters want all basic human activities covered I should move to usa – free water, porn, food, bed, phone and internet (socialising is a basic one now) oooh a car as travelling is now. Seriously though, condoms aren’t 100% just the same as bulletproof armour might not save you when someone shoots a gun at you… doesn’t mean soldiers don’t wear it…
            As a species we cannot sleep around as it ends up with bad things happening like in Japan. Seriously check out their population forcasts and how it will affect their economy.
            This isn’t feminism. Feminism is wanting men to not treat women as sex objects and not see them as a physical conquest and for the average woman to realise she can use her brain to get where she wants.
            Jens, your comments are myopic and make me feel ashamed. Condoms are very cheap and solve the issue for the most part. the female being on the pill is needed as well. That isn’t an abortion debate though… that’s a contraceptive debate. Perhaps give them away to poor people? not saying I am anti-abortion. Sometimes it is for the best. But it shouldn’t be tax payers responsibility. If it is theirs then ALL healthcare should be free. not just part. that is how equality works. Funny how these Hipsters don’t have a first clue about the ideals they preach. If I were to ask them if their beliefs were Deontological or Teleological I doubt they could answer… Let alone get into a full blown debate on ethics. /I mean it is so slapdash… Hint of determinism, a splash of poor man’s rule utilitarianism (I.e. done wrong) and just an air of fascism. *sigh* liberalism doesn’t mean what most think it does… they forget it comes from the same place as Liberty. It certainly doesn’t mean “do as you want as long as it’s what we want” …

      • Anonymous

        Condoms cost 25 cents. If a guy can’t cover that, he shouldn’t be with a girl. Irresponsible sex is not a right.

        • Linley

          Condoms aren’t 100 percent effective.

          • Hovish13

            Neither is all birth control/ contraception

      • YetAnotherJen

        EVERYONE can afford the Creighton method of natural family planning.  It’s free and teaches a woman how to observe and interpret her fertility signs.

        The little bit that people don’t like to hear is that it requires discipline.  Neither do they like to be told no.  “I want what I want, when I want it!”  Yep, my toddler used to say that, too.  And then he grew up.

  • SuperLogic

    That’s the pro-abortion side for you, they refuse to take responsibility for their own actions and expect others to pay for their condoms, and for their sex life, and then for their abortions.  You want choice?  Yet you don’t want to give anyone else choice not to pay for your irresponsible behavior!!

  • Guest

    I took (wasted) the time to read the original post. I recommend it to anyone interested in being horrified by the blatant disrespect for life the writer has. This was an excellent rebuttal though!

  • Therese_carmella

    Haha – “Pictured: the most scientifically accurate thing in the entire Jezebel feature.”  That cracked me up.  I love you, Kristen Walker!  Keep up the witty pro-life writing you do…people are listening.

    Until the whole world hears<3

  • guest

    Totally hit the spot! Love your response. 🙂

  • Freedom2flythruchrist


  • Anonymous

    Kristen, you are amazing.  You’re funny, which makes your blogs/articles so interesting to read.  And you speak the truth!

  • If_Only

    That was hilarious and wonderful! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

  • Hoffmom

    LOL! That was perfect. Kristin Walker, I think you and I were separated at birth or something.

  • I think the words, “according to magic” are much more appropriately applied to Ryan’s apparent belief that a baby becomes human at the moment her tiny head passes the vagina line: the Missouri Compromise Line of our generation.

  •  “99% of which resulted from a consensual sex act”
    Could I have the source for this? Thanks.

  •  “99% of which resulted from a consensual sex act”
    Could I have the source for this? Thanks.

    • Pcn

      I think its related to the common pro-abortion scare tactic of claiming of abortion is illegal then abortion in the case of ‘even rape and incest’ would be illegal.  By diverting attention to an almost statistically insignificant number of abortions they play on people’s fears of “what if it happened to me?”  Google “elective abortion” and you’ll find some sources.

      • Anonymous

        It is not a scare tactic to the women who actually do become pregnancy via rape or incest. There are many of them.

        • Provide a source for the MANY abortions that occur as a result of rape. Thanks.

          • Anonymous

            Approximately one percent of all abortions occur through rape. In the United States alone approximately 1.2 million abortions occur every year. Therefore, somewhere around 12000 women abort due to rape. 

          • So 12000 out 1.2 MILLION is enough to justify abortion in ALL cases?… LOGICAL. 

          • Anonymous

            When did I say that? I was simply answering your question. I don’t understand why you feel the need to jump to conclusions here Ana; or why you feel the need to wear out your caps button. 

          • I don’t see why you feel the need to bring up red herrings everytime I make a point. Yes, I use CAPS only when I am making an emphasis. I don’t see how that means I am “wearing” out the CAPS button. 

          • 12angry_men

            Red herring? Really? Way to pick out the least important thing to reply to. What I really want to know is why you jumped to conclusions when I simply gave you the information you wanted to know.

          • Nik Armitt

            The least important???? Dude, you are so dumb. you didn’t ask a question. you were rhetorical and patronising, but not inquisitive? everyone jumps to conclusions, we all do it. the end of an essay is always a conclusion. stop being a prickstain for once in your pathetic life.She jumped because you’ve been on here winding everyone up. What a guy, people. what a guy. so this little odious cock knocker likes to pull on a lions tail then try to be sardonic. HAHAHAHAHA. So funny.

          • Nik Armitt

            TBH I am against pro-lifers but these people are alright. you lot are douches that all believe EXACTLY the same thing… none of you think for yourselves… a collective should argue and have differences of opinion… you all recite the manifesto like it’s mein kampf and you are joining the Hitler Youth. you know it verbatim. so creepy.

          • Nik Armitt

            not exactly a lot… not saying that it isn’t a big number but when you consider the grand scheme of things. how many are from one night stands and from people under 25 I wonder?

  • Anonymous

    I believe that her comment, “. . . a fetus becomes a grown ass human being at the moment the sperm decides it is.”, is a reference to the Left’s belief that the Conservative movement is male-dominated. There they go again!  Even sperm are chauvinists!

    • Linley

      The world is male-dominated. The Conservative movement is no exception. 

      • Tdstec

        Human nature is inclined towards domination. The feminist movement is no exception. This is why, despite the history of subjugation women have suffered, they do not align themselves with the plight of the baby in the womb. Women are using new-found social and political clout to crush someone weaker than themselves. They maim, mangle and scald to death an innocent unborn baby at will. Why?? Because they CAN –just as it was acceptable in men’s eyes to oppress women as sub-human inferiors, so have women refused to acknowledge the humanity of the baby in the womb and have thus justified his/her savage and unthinkable extermination.

      • Nik Armitt

        someone explain Linley’s comment to me? Not what she is actually saying just why she is saying it… oh wait it is a new game ^>^ oooh oooh oooh my turn my turn…. cats go meow… no dogs go woof… no… your comment was like a broken pencil. Pointless and not helpful.

  • Caroline

    What a fantastic piece, you’re a very talented writer. There’s simply to much “Jezebel” ignorance out there and you debunked their “arguments” so effectively and literately.

  • Julie

    Loved reading your article.  2012…. BRING IT ON!!!!!  

  • juneau

    You are indeed gifted! Go, Kristen, go!

  • Steve P Harrison


  • Agape

    Kristin, you rock!!!!  I love your writing style.  You tell it like it is in a way that puts it out there with no candy-coating.  Keep it up!  I thank God for you.

  • Tdstec

    Her “when the sperm decides” is a nod to how oppressed we all are by those loathsome men creatures, even on a microscopic level. The only thing left to do is oppress somebody weaker(aka-a helpless baby) and that should help assuage our wounded egos and remind us that goshdarnitt,they’re not the boss of us. After all, one thing we definitely learned from history is “might makes right”

  • Meg

    ROCK ON Kristen!! A great response to a RIDICULOUS article  

  • Gina

    Preach it!

  • Anonymous

    It is not a scare tactic to the people who actually become pregnant through rape or incest. There are many.

    • Provide a link please? THANKS

  • Miranda Adria

    A pro-life blog talking about how the truth is distorted? Ironic, to say the least…

    • How so??

    • guest

      wanna back that up or just rant, a pro choicer giving no reasons or facts to back up there clames?? Typical, to say the least…

    • Nik Armitt

      *sigh* no, a rapist getting raped is a form of irony. Blogs are by definition personal opinion.So in other words no “truth” to distort. Just opinion. It is more talking about straight up being wrong. When you get a maths question wrong they don’t say “distorted” they say “wrong”. So… tell me again how this is ironic? I’m Pro-Choice btw. I just cannot stand idiots that blindly follow a cause like a mentally damaged sheep with a goldfish felching a tiger-prawn for a brain … Jezebel is idiotic. I love Star Wars but I don’t love everything associated with it. If George [Lucas] came out and said women were just for sex and should be treated as such, I would not defend him. so so so silly.
      Please do explain the Ironic parts?!?!

  • Kate

    Kristen! I love your sassy, awesome ways! Keep up the great work! I love reading your articles!

  • guest

    It’s interesting that you failed to link the original article, thus giving your readers nothing to go on but your own scathing comments. You call Ryan out on being snarky, but you spend more of your rebuttal mocking her casual phrasing and “femihipster” ways than you do making a point. I hope this kind of writing stays right here on this blog and doesn’t spread to real journalism.

    • Pcn

      Here it is.  Maybe she figured that with the name (Jezebel…) and something like Google, given that this is 2012, that we could find it if we needed to.  Are Pro-Life people just that much smarter?….

      • Mbaker

        Yes. Yes, we are just that much smarter.

    • She replied with the same snarky tone to prove a point… DUH

  • Maria

    An embryo isn’t a person any more than an apple is a tree. Get over yourself.

    And for future reference, epeatedly dismissing your opponent as ‘stupid’ does nothing to further your argument. All it does is make you seem childish. See also: pot, kettle.

    • Michelle PRCED

      Let me fix that for you… A human embryo isn’t a human adult like an apple isn’t a tree. Oh wait… I’m not sure that’s what you were trying to say… How about a baby isn’t a teenager… A toddler isn’t a geriatric… A six month old is not a sixty year old… Um, yeah. Gotcha.

      Here’s a gold star, Maria, for your kindergarten level understanding of biology. Can you try explaining to us again how the life continuum of earth’s flora and fauna justifies humans killing other humans based on their lesser level of development?

      • Mbaker

        Okay, so everyone missed the obvious point that an apple doesn’t grow into a tree. False analogy to begin with.

    • Esmeralda

      We all come from somewhere. An embryo is a person definitely, because it contains his/her own DNA. Anyone who has unique and separate human DNA is a person. 
      It is scientific fact, as well as common sense. By the way, you forgot to mention that abortion is wrong, and that it is a huge baby killing business. Unless you support child abuse-abortion, which would make you an inhumane person, like Charles Manson, or Jeffrey Dahmer, or any abortionist or abortion nurse, and everyone else who works for the pro-choice child-abuse abortion organizations. I hope you are against child abuse-abortion though.

    • Tdstec

      What science are you basing this assertion on,Maria

    • Guest

      So, maybe let’s interpret that “See also: pot, kettle.” So, “That’s like a pot calling a kettle ‘black,’ because they’re BOTH black” or “That’s like Kristen calling Jezebel ‘stupid,’ because they’re BOTH stupid.” Calling HER stupid because she called someone else stupid is just as childish.

  • Nobody

    I think if you are pro abortion. You should be eligible to be aborted post partum. You all for shoving scissors into the skull of an unborn baby. You should volunteer to have that “procedure” performed on yourself. 

    • Nik Armitt

      I would honestly love to see you do that! I could then ram those scissors in your yankie doodle dandie arms and make you watch gay porn and listen to French rap music and watch your daughter marry a man of colour :O Quiiiiiiiick, Phillip, get the klan sheeeeets, this N-word-lover wants an ass whooopin. Seriously, you mongaloid redneck window-licking cock-sucking pube picking ball squeezing shit-slurpin donkey raping cum guzzling spawn of cheap whore…. If only I could go back in time to that icecream back your mother sat on charging ten cents a ride I could have saved the world from your wit. Just rip the bag off her head and nobody will want to stick it in her. Maybe we could use that to save rich white yanks money! Show your fat disgusting cheap and ugly mother’s infested and diseased vagina to people in non-white areas of New Orleans! Hell paint it all over Brad’s Pink Rotting Deathtra…. houses… seriously though, Dude. I’ve seen more culture in a bottle of sour milk. And more intelligence from a pig dressed as a bloke.
      and they never perform an abortion beyond a certain point – certainly not at foetus. embryos aren’t know to have a skeleton. It is living but not with a skull. Jesus Christ and the Pussycat Dolls, rednecks are dumb. And pretty sure they don’t use scissors… maybe that’s what they do where you are… but not in normal places… unless you are just that idiotic? So which is it, petulant and melodramatic? Or ignorant and retarded?

  • Did you READ her article? Or did you conveniently decide to block out everything but “stupid”?

    • Amy

      Who are you talking to?  

      • NOT you, so don’t worry about it. 

  • I have a question, why is it that those who foam at the mouth about “reproductive rights, and CHOICE”  don’t put their money where there mouth is and DECIDE THEMSELVES to fund the same things they screech at us to fund?  Given how many people support PP, this shouldn’t be difficult. Is it because if THEY are the ones that had to do it, THEY wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about it?

    • Amy

      Who says we don’t?  Many people donate to Planned Parenthood, including me.  What makes you say we don’t exist?  In fact, much of the privately donated money goes to cover what government funding can’t as far as healthcare goes under Title VII.

      • Well then, that should suffice. No need for taxpayer money.

      • Everytime I ask a PP supporter when have they or are planning to PERSONALLY contribute to PP, they sheepishly admit that they won’t fund it if THEY had to, or change the subject by stating that they are already contributing to other charities… like us, prolifers are not…

  • I will get out of your uterus when you get out of my wallet.

  • Did you READ her article? Or did you conveniently decide to block out everything but “stupid”?

  • Cheriecrettol

    Very good response! I pity those enslaved to their own lies, having had a botched abortion myself, which opened my eyes to how low and dirty the abortion industry is. To put it plainly, the feminists can care less about women, they just want to keep spreading their angry, dishonest agenda. Ever since I found out that Betty Friedan was a Marxist, and whose husband hired a maid for her to she could write “The Feminine Mystique” and whine about being in a “comfortable concentration camp” under the guise of being a “housewife” (ahem) us females have really bought the farm as far as “liberation” goes. I pity those still trapped in that lie, and hope that their eyes are opened to the truth.

  • “Ms. Ryan is angry because some of us don’t feel we should be forced to pay for other people’s abortions, 99% of which resulted from a consensual sex act, or even for free or cheap birth control so that people can continue having sex. Your sex life is not a right I am prepared to pay for. If you want to have non-procreative sex, fine, free country. Pay for it yourself. At the risk of being accused of “slut shaming,” I don’t see anything that compels me to subsidize your sex life or anyone else’s. And if you have one of those “Holy crap, how did I get pregnant? I am merely a fertile woman having sex with a fertile male!” moments, forgive me if I don’t intend to see one penny of my money go to kill your baby.”
    Amen! This sums it all up so well!

  • Anonymous
    • Pcn

      Isn’t there a difference between?
      1) The number of women who become pregnant by rape or incest.
      2) The number of women who become pregnant by rape or incest who chose to end the life of that child.

      I think many women become pregnant through consensual sexual intercourse.  I might be able to find some links to support that if you give me some time…

      Are we confusing this with the almost statistically indeterminate number of abortions DUE to rape or incest?

    • I wasn’t asking you how many women get pregnant from rape? I was asking you how many ABORTIONS are due to rape. Try again.

    • Nik Armitt

      oooft first news story I clicked was from nearly 15 years ago and was a “study” not conclusive… wow. Also then surely you could argue that in places with brothels there is less rape. like Amsterdam. This would reduce the need for abortion whilst giving women a safe environment. hmmm. But your figures mean nothing as this is about in the USA not Bosnia or UK. We have free healthcare.

  • Linley

    Kristen – you never addressed this point:

    “Mass legal acceptance of this scientifically inaccurate principle would make it completely illegal for anyone to have an abortion, receive many forms of IVF.”

    If I want to give birth to my own child, it will have to be through IVF (in vitro fertilisation). If IVF is illegal, essentially it’d be illegal for me to give birth to a child the only way I biologically could.

    This has nothing at all to do with abortion, but it’s gotten dragged into the war. Is Live-Action anti-IVF and other forms of assisted conception, too? 

    • ONLY if they are abortifacient

  • fisher

    I’ve always thought that the Jezebel site is, at least, refreshingly well-named:” 20 Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. 21 I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling.” -Revelation 2:20-21

  • Dmcook5

    Exactly Charles, They seem to think the “magic baby fairy” comes with the stork at the moment the baby slips out and waves a magic wand making it a “real baby boy or girl” kind of like pinnochio, and just a few moments before that, it was not a real baby, and quite okay to kill it.