She’s Only a Baby If You Want Her: Every Child a Wanted Child, Part 2

American justice is blind indeed. And when it comes to babies, it is also painfully lacking in universal ethics and logic.

Perhaps the best example of this national logic deficit can be found in state statutes regarding fetal homicide. For example, Indiana’s state law “specifies that a person who knowingly or intentionally terminates a human pregnancy with an intention other than to produce a live birth or to remove a dead fetus commits feticide…” Now wait for it: “…the law does not apply to an abortion.”  In other words, the child is only a human worthy of legal protection if her mother wants her.

Abortion is an American ‘right’ granted by the infamous Roe v. Wade ruling. By this law, women have the right to choose. But to choose what? Whether or not a pregnancy involving a separate individual with a unique genetic code and an audible heartbeat is actually human or not? That’s a lot of pressure.

To be fair, women who find themselves with unplanned pregnancies do face tremendous pressure. Choosing whether or not to parent a child is an extremely difficult, painful choice, hardly one to make in a night. We can expect that with the gravity of this decision, inevitably a change of mind would occur during the process. But here is the problem. As a mother considers abortion, adoption or parenting, does the nature of this “clump of cells” change biologically (or philosophically, for that matter) according to the opinion of the mother: human and protected by law when she feels ready to parent and a mass of tissue with no rights and no legal protection in the moments she wants abortion? Giving women the right to choose not simply a pregnancy, but whether or not a real human life is involved is a lot of pressure. Too much pressure.

Now let’s set logic aside for a moment and assume that simply “wanting” a baby is grounds enough to determine her humanity. In 2008, 1.21 million abortions were performed in the United States, according to the Guttmacher Institute. Recent abortion statistics show that 93% of all abortions are for primarily social reasons, such as a parent or partner’s desire for the abortion, lack of financial resources or feeling unready for a child. Only 7% of abortions were performed for women’s health or a medical issue for the child, with less than 1% following a case of rape or incest.  In other words, most children who die from abortions could be classified as the socially inconvenient, “unwanted”, as Ms. Sanger might call them. But unwanted by whom? Is the child’s mother the only one who can determine this? We do not give men this right to their unborn children. Nor do we give women this right once their children are born. Our justice system hardly looks the other way if a woman pulls a Susan Smith and decides she’s had it with parenting.

As we look into society at large, national adoption statistics reveal an arms-wide-open attitude towards babies. According to a February 2011 study compiled by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, over two million American women have taken steps toward adoption. Men and women who are unable to parent biologically spend thousands of dollars on hopeful adoptions, often waiting years for the call that one baby is available. These statistics speak to the wantedness of these so-called “unwanted” children.

Regardless of whether or not a child is born planned or wanted, the core issue in question is whether or not the unique value of a human being can be given or taken away by another person. Our conviction of intrinsic value is evidenced in the fight to save a baby born prematurely or the money spent to rescue workers trapped in a coal mine, even if they may already be dead. Our personal worth is something that certainly cannot be assigned the moment we emerge from the womb. Fortunately, the humanity of all people does, in fact, transcend the (ever-changing) opinions of others, as we have been “endowed by [our] Creator with certain unalienable Rights,” among which is life. We claim to have adopted these rights as a nation. But in order to offer these rights to all humans, American justice must open her eyes.

  • guest

    I used to be fiercely pro-life, with very few exceptions that included a true and honest medical threat to the mother to carry the baby to a stage of maturity that the baby could possibly be delivered.
    My mother was 42 when she discovered she was pregnant with me. She requested an abortion, but the discovery of the unwanted pregnancy was deep into the second term, and she could not obtain one legally. Instead, she drank and smoked, and lost a pound from conception to delivery. I was born several weeks early, but somehow survived despite the fact it was several decades ago. My mother was an alcoholic who withheld every bit of tenderness from me and shared with me at an early age how she wished for an abortion, but it was too late for her. I grew up friendless and unwanted. For many years, I thought abortion was such a horrible solution, that in no way could it ever be right. But now, looking back, I realize that for the truly unwanted child who will suffer immeasurably and never have a sense of worthiness and never be a whole adult–abortion is the merciful option. I was an unwanted burden to my parents, and am a severely damaged human being as a result. There seems to be this perspective that saving a child from abortion will place that child into the hands of loving parents. I did not have that. Given the choice, I would have recommended my mother have the abortion, sparing both of us many years of unwanted suffering.

    • Danielle Delorey

       That is such a sad story. I am sorry you went through that. Please know that you are a beautiful person, your life is worth living, and that your parents are at fault for treating you the way they did.  Here is a problem that cannot be ignored. Who is going to care for the millions of unwanted children? The world is already over populated. Its far better to abort. Humans as a whole need to start thinking about what is good for everyone on this planet, not only for themselves. This entire cause makes me sick. These people who care so deeply about putting an end to all abortions should focus their energy on something useful.

      • Hancojn

        Well, Danielle, thank you for exposing your ignorance about over population vs. population density.

        In light of your comments, perhaps you’d like to advocate for the destruction of already born children rotting in orphanages and other places where they suffer.  Perhaps we should just nuke Africa and then start over. Think of all the waste of resources that the West sends their way in an attempt to provide humanatarian efforts.

        The “guests” story above is indeed sad, but not an indication for abortion, it is an indication that instead of being given real help, their mother was sadly and woefully ignored by society, medical professionals and the extended family. 

        There are many, MANY people waiting to adopt those so called “unwanted” children, as you phrase them.  But the real question is, if we provided for those women in crisis, if we assisted them with budgetting, education, jobs et cetera, would those pregnancies still be “unwanted”. Most probably not, as a lot of women having abortions cite reasons such as money, job loss, educational disruption, as reasons for their abortions. Remove those reasons, remove the need for abortion. Simple math.

        As for guest, you need real help, you are by no means damaged or unwanted, you, like many others, have been impacted by your mother’s obvious mental illness. You need to value your life more, as thinking you should have been aborted is the dispicable outcome that our anti-life society has forced on you.  Abortion woudl have likely injured your mother just as highly as any other option. Seek professional intervention for yourself. Forgive your mother and move on with your life.

        • 12angrymen

          By that logic we should nuke ourselves, not Africa, as we use a whole lot more of the earth’s resources than they do. Oh and why are you generalizing all of Africa? It’s not like the entire continent is poor. 

      • HappyPro-LifeMotherOfFOUR

        Danielle, you must be confused. “It is far better to abort”? Do you know what happens to women and their unborn children during that process, or are you just spouting off at the mouth? Abortion doesn’t just kill unborn children, it is also more than capable of killing their mothers as well. Perhaps instead of coming onto a site that is clearly pro-life and pro-family, you should head off to an anti-life or pro-choice (whatever the murderers of innocent and defenseless children call themselves these days) and bore THEM with your half-baked logic regarding population and family dynamics. As far as this “guest” story goes, this guy needs to get over it. I grew up in an amazingly and strikingly similar situation, and yet I still manage to advocate for those that cannot be heard from inside the womb. I have four adopted children, all of whom live very comfotably. Had their biological mothers chosen to abort them, I would not have the four people in my life that bring me such immense joy. Regardless of whether his story is “sad”, there are millions of shildren killed in the United States every year. There are millions of homes that would be more than willing to take these children in. Look harder, enlist the help of resource centers, do whatever you must to put a child in a loving home instead of murdering them before they even get a chance to tell you that they want to live.

        • Kerouac75

          abortion is seven times safer than childbirth, get your head out of your ass and realize that some people are truly unfit as parents and it remains and should remain their choice to decide how to handle THEIR situation regardless of YOUR experiences and elitist beliefs.

          • http://twitter.com/adhouk1 Adam Houk

            that is not what I read from researches in the past.  It has been notified that there is more risk in abortion than full term pregnancy.

          • Guest

            Abortion is never safe for the baby.  Childbirth can be safe for both mother and child thanks to modern medicine.

            If we disregard various studies supporting the hypotheses that abortion has health risks of its own, the risk is something like 1 in 100000 vs. 7 in 100000.  That makes childbirth safer than driving a car.  There’s also the fact that Ireland, which allows abortion only when the mother’s life is in danger, has the world’s lowest maternal mortality rate.

            Indeed, some people aren’t the best parents.  Is the answer to kill the children?

            I don’t think it’s an elitist belief to demand that all humans should have equal protection.  The belief that certain people can be killed because they are “unwanted” seems a good deal more elitist.

          • Sarah Siders

            Thank you for your response.  Thank you for not being judgmental and condescending to the other readers and responders.  Several of the above responses have been just that, and even though I am pro-life, I am not pro-insult or pro-mockery.  I do not feel it is necessary to use degrading terms to talk with people with whom we disagree.  I hope to focus on this in a coming piece.  Those of us who are pro-life need to arm ourselves with the rhetoric, practices and lifestyles that MLKJ and the civil rights movement used, practices that made their efforts triumphant, those of peace and justice, not insult and unkindness.  We have hearts and lives at stake in this issue, and we will never win them over with brute, verbal force.  I appreciate all the comments made here, and I’m glad to bring forth a hearty discussion.  But I hope that in the future we can refer to our pro-choice fellow humans with dignity because, as pro-lifers, we do believe that ALL people have intrinsic worth.  If we do in fact believe this, let’s act like it.

        • seadisco

          Go to an anti-life site?  Yes, heaven forbid your narrow point of view be subject to scrunity or open to debate. 

          • Guest

            This site is far more tolerant of trolls than most pro-abortion sites I’ve visited.

      • Kari

        “Guest”, my heart breaks for you and the fact that you feel the way you do about yourself. I’m sorry your mother made you feel so unwanted and worthless. There is a Savior who can redeem your life and heal your broken heart and give you freedom that you’ve never known. He is the author of every life. Every precious life. I hope that you find Him and the hope and salvation He has to offer!!

        Danielle, just because a person may focus much of his or her energy on fighting for the millions of unborn babies murdered every year, doesn’t mean we do not also spend our energy on other “useful” things as you put it. Many of us pro-lifers are involved in adoption/orphanage work, disaster relief, medical missions….and on and on. We value life. I’m sorry that you think our fight for the unborn is in vain.

  • Pingback: She’s Only a Baby If You Want Her: Every Child a Wanted Child, Part 2 | Foundation Life

  • Guestwhostiredofjustification

    So if population control is the main reason for abortion, why don’t we give these babies a chance to live and let the government randomly choose 1.2 million American citizens each year to execute? Would that be better? Could be you or your family this year, maybe not. It’s the SAME thing no matter whose life is taken.

  • Atilla51

    Just wanted to share some awesome and uplifting news with everyone! A MAJORITY of Americans are NOW PRO-LIFE!!! abortion is the choice of killing unborn human life AND it is NEVER the right choice! NOONE is ever too pathetic or pitiful to be loved and ABSOLUTELY NEVER deserves to be killed.  Oh, and some of us need to watch their language. I know you have no respect for unborn human lives, but WE are alive and your lack of decency is not welcome here! www.180movie.org
    “First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, and then you win.”—Ghandi