Superheroes and Peanuts

On January 1, 1978, I got a birthday.  And, to make it all the more exciting: I was born to a young girl who is a hero (a real, true blue super hero, actually).

Only months before, my 16 year old birth mom had been counselled and hugged and told that abortion is really up to the mother, and the mother had to do what was best for herself.

Here’s what makes my birth mother a real, true mother….and my hero:  She didn’t do what was best for herself….she did what was best for her child.  She stood up and walked out of an abortion clinic. Because of her refusal to rid herself and her family of this “nuisance and annoyance and embarrassment” later to be named Leah; her father made her a ward of the courts.  She had to find a place to live, had to find her own support system, had to deal with very big issues on her own.

But, she did this for me.

She told the people who said that giving birth to the baby wasn’t worth the problems, that I WAS worth the problems, and she gave me to a family that needed a bouncing and singing little girl.

How amazing that of all the wombs in all the females, I landed into the womb of a selfless hero who stood up for a tiny, little peanut who was getting ready to take on the world.

Was I really not worth those problems?

Should I really be dead right now?

People who say that abortion is OK, are actually telling me that they would have been OK with my birth mom ending ME before I even had a chance to see the ocean, eat an ice cream cone, climb a tree or hug my Mommy and Daddy.  I’m no different than all of the other little peanuts who are floating around in their Mommy’s womb, listening to her voice…hoping that she will be THEIR voice.

Oh how wonderful that my life wasn’t taken from me.  It’s unbelievable that so many don’t make it through.

I’m not sure how to  help those who are pro choice understand how grateful I am that I was born, and how sad it is that because of this “choice” so many are not….but here’s what I am sure of:  I don’t take this life for granted, and I always celebrate like crazy on my birthday.

  • notimportant

    I am happy for you Leah, in that you see value in your life. Perhaps you see its value because of all your birth mother went through to bring you into this world. Although I can not devalue another human, please do not think you can speak for all of us about how valuable each of our lives are. Had I been allowed to choose to be born or not exist at all, I would have chosen to forego seeing the ocean, eating an ice cream cone, or climbing a tree. I’m not condemning you for finding joy in life (I’m truly happy for you), but not all of us can be as fortunate as you. Some of us are just excess filler in life, and the rest would be better off without us. 

    • Icare

      Dear notimportant,
      you are believing a LIE!  I know you hear it in your head.  I know you feel it in your heart and maybe some very ignorant person has said this to you.  But it is a lie nontheless…You are worth everything and you are important and you are here and many are glad that you are, even if you don’t know it.
      Hang on because life is worth living!  Have hope because hope does exist. You are IMPORTANT!  Feel free to reply back if you want to talk….or scream!

    • Icare2

      Dear notimportant.
      You are important! You do have value! I pray that the tears falling now will help you to know this in your heart!

    • http://www.facebook.com/jeep.obsessed Brooke Mehr

      And how did you come to the conclusion that the world would be better off without you?

    • Kimberly

      I am having a hard time reading what I am writing because I am literally bawling my eyes out after reading your post.  PLEASE, PLEASE know you are absolutely NOT “excess filler”!!  There is NO WAY!  No matter what has happened to you in life, your life IS valuable and IS worthy.  You were made for a purpose.  I’m 40 years old and I don’t know what my God-given purpose is and I may never know but I know there is a reason that I, you, and everyone reading this blog post were born!  God created you and made you absolutely perfect in His eyes.  God doesn’t make mistakes. 

      I don’t pretend to know your circumstances; I don’t even know your name.  But I do know that you are loved!  I’m not sure if you are a Christian, but whether you are or not, I would encourage you to read the Bible because throughout the entire Old Testament and New Testament you will see over, and over, and over again God’s love for His people, followers of Jesus Christ.  He has that same love for YOU! 

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Caroline-Saddy/100002215914632 Caroline Saddy

        Look Ijust lost my phone and only have this to communicate on….I know what it is like to have me and my toddler cleaning stairs for dinner money!!! It can only get better once you get that low….

    • Ninek

      Veryimportant, we need you!   This world is a hard place to live in and not enough people pitch in to help.  If just a few more people would help out just a little bit, it would make a huge difference.  There are so many things that need fixing.  Do you love animals?  Maybe you live near an elderly person who can’t walk their dog as often as it needs.  Do you like food?  There are soup kitchens that need volunteers to cook, serve, or wash up.   I could post a book’s worth of causes and people that need you. 

      We need you, very important!   Every last person counts.

    • http://twitter.com/MarauderTheSN Marauder

      Honey, I want you to listen to me, because I have no agenda but your best interests. I have been in the same place you’re in now, and the world would NOT be better off without you. You are not excess filler. Someone in this world loves you, and if they don’t, someone will.

      I don’t even know you, but if I found out you died, I would be so sad. No one deserves to believe the world would be better without them. I know you probably can’t see that now, but just trust me on this one.

      Go do just one nice thing for somebody. It doesn’t even have to be hard or take long, and then you can look at it and say, “I did this good thing, and I made the world a little bit better.” You are a worthwhile person, you matter, and you deserve to be in this world and find happiness.

      My guess is that you probably have depression. Is there any way you can see a therapist or school counselor (I’m not sure how old you are) or anyone? You don’t have to suffer through this without help and you don’t have to spend the rest of your life feeling this way.

      Can you reply to this comment so I know you’re okay?

    • Anonymous

      Even if some people were doomed to a life of uselessness and gloom, there would be no way to know who they were before they were born. You are right: It would be wrong to devalue another human, and that is what abortion does.

      But let’s talk about you. Perhaps you don’t see the value of your life because someone sacrificed YOUR good for their own. Maybe you have a disability or something else that burdens you. Maybe you have been used, or rejected. Maybe you are struggling with something so horrible that you’re too ashamed to even share it. God still loves you, and Jesus still gave His life for you (you’re THAT valuable!) and there ARE people in this world who will love and accept you, warts and all. I don’t know your story, but I’ll tell you mine: I was sexually abused- regularly- by a relative throughout my childhood. I was a small, soft-hearted child who was regularly bullied in school. But I found true friends, and I found God (or He found me), and I found love, and I even found reconciliation with my abuser. And life is still NOT perfect and sometimes I feel despair too, even now. But I have learned to separate my emotions from the truth I know: I am loved and I am here for a reason. I am able to love others and do good for them, even though I feel inadequate.

      Please talk to someone who can help. You need therapy, and you may have brain chemistry issues. Things feel worse than they are right now. Hang on. I will pray for God’s love and goodness in your life.

    • Catherine Wood

      I would not be better off without you.  I’m glad you’re in this world and on this earth. You have a purpose. There is a reason you are here. Trust in God and He’ll lead you to it. I cannot and will not call you “notimportant”. You are important to me and you are an important part of God’s plan.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Caroline-Saddy/100002215914632 Caroline Saddy

      not important-the hell you aren’t. Get a grip, we need you here. You are not a filler. I hope you get a good day soon. Really. What on you talking about? Be happy even as a filler inner…..heck you have a gift to live!!!

  • Kimberly

    Leah, your mother was very courageous and yes, a hero!  Your story is inspiring and beautiful! 

  • Kimberly Wedel

    I believe every life has a purpose. I grew up very unhappy. I have suffered from chronic depression and a mild case of Tourette’s syndrome for my entire life. I was physically and mentally abused as a child. During my teenage years I was on the verge of suicide. At 23 I was abandoned by the father of my child who then died a year and a half after my son was born. I spent many years questioning my purpose on Earth. Eight years ago I founf and married the man I was meant to be with. Almost five years ago I gave birth to my beautiful daughter who has Down syndrome. Shortly after she was born I found out that 92% of pregnant women given a pre-natal diagnosis of Down syndrome choose to abort. I now know my purpose. I feel that I was put here to spread the message that ALL life has value. I have two beautiful children that I would give my life for. My 21 year old son has grown into a thoughtful, loving caring young man that I am always complimented for. People always tell me what a caring person he is and what wonderful morals he has. My daughter is a blessing that charms everyone she meets. I still struggle with depression and there are still many days that I again find my self saying “why me” but I look at my children and know that is WHY. Please don’t believe that you are not important. If you look for it you will find your reason. It took me almost 40 years to realize mine.

    • Kimberly Wedel

      This message was meant to be a reply to notimportant. I’m not sure why it didn’t come up that way.

    • Claudéa

      Oh I’m a teen pregnancy baby an I’m only thirteen but I’m still very firey about abortion and as soon as that babies heart starts beating its alive an it’s murder to kill it and you are a very strong woman you have encouraged me because I’ve been depressed and ready to commit suicide and right now I’m on bed rest from a concussion I got but I will be strong and you are a voice for ones who don’t have one and that’s amazing :) just to let you know :) your an amazing woman and have encouraged me to be the best I can :)

      • Kimberly Wedel

        You have touched me. Nothing makes me happier than to think I could have helped someone. The teen years are difficult. You have a lot of hormones that can affect your mood. If you aren’t already seeing a therapist I implore you to do so. If you don’t know where to go talk to your parents or teachers. Life gets so much better. You have your whole life ahead of you and I can promise you that one day you will back and be so thankful that you stuck it out. You have a purpose and you are here for a reason. Someday you will touch the heart of a young person with your story. Reading what you said has made my day. You encourage me in return. keep up the positive attitude and know you are in my thoughts. I am on facebook -Kimberly Heckenast Wedel. Please feel free to contact me if you ever want to talk. I would love to hear from you. Thank you so very much for touching my heart with your response.

    • Cindy

      The 92% of women who abort a Downs Syndrome child don’t know what they are missing. Yes there may be more worries, more trips to the doctor/hospital etc. But there are also more hugs more kisses and a child who loves the world. I’m a special education teacher and love working with these kids. They don’t take the little things for granted (like learning to write your name etc) because for them it is a difficult task. But the look on their face when they learn something new is worth every hour,every minute, every second spent helping them. Couldn’t ask for a better job.

      • Kimberly Wedel

        I couldn’t agree more. Bless you for the work you do. My daughter has some wonderful teachers working with her. I am so touched by their genuine affection for her. Her teacher from last years pre-school even cried when she told me how much she was going to miss my daughter. I also totally agree about the not taking things for granted. Yes she has had to work harder than typically developing children but the self satisfaction she shows with every accomplishment is priceless. My daughter is the biggest blessing that anyone could ask for. She really touches people in such a profound way. Before I had her I had never known anyone with Down syndrome. Since I had her I have met individuals from newborns to some in the 60’s. They have such a joyful outlook on life. I find it so ironic that some people use the excuse that they don’t want to bring someone with Ds into the world because they don’t want to see them suffer. As I’m sure you no personally suffer is the last thing they do. They take great pride in theirselves. They are hard workers and proud of the work they do. They thorouhly enjoy life and take pleasure in things that others take for granted. My daughter, Hailey is only 4 and I’m looking forward to watching her not only grow but blossom.

  • Leah

    Aww, thank you Kimberly :)   And to “notimportant”, I’m so sorry you are not happy about life…and I hope that you can draw some encouragement from the beautiful replies these people have left for you.  Also, can I suggest that you go and talk to someone…maybe a pastor or counsellor about why you feel so unimportant?  And anyhow, I completely disagree!!!  You are of value.  Note all of the people fighting for you here in these comments??!!  You are here on this earth…and with purpose. See Psalm 139.
    The point of this blog  is to attach a face and a life of potential to the unborn babies who’s mothers may be contemplating abortion.  So many people say that the lives of these little ones are meaningless.  That just ‘aint true.  Also, I want to let the mothers who do choose life for their babies know that they are absolutely amazing.  I wanted to say THANKYOU!
    God Bless
     

  • GeorgiaLife

    I thank God for the two wonderful young women who entrusted their tiny babies to my husband and me in adoption.  They made such a mature, sacrificially loving choice to give life to their children and to provide for them a home with a wonderful dad, a stable marriage, and an eagerness to raise children to know and love God.  We will always honor them!  In fact, our daughter just married and her birthmother’s family came to the wedding.  We had stayed in touch all these 21 years and were delighted that she, her husband, her two young sons and her parents could join our joyful celebration.  As i said at the rehearsal dinner, now we understand just a tiny bit better the bittersweetness of entrusting her to someone else, like she did 21 years ago.

    • Leah

      That’s beautiful, just beautiful :)  My adoptive parents have voiced similar thoughts and feelings as what you have written here. I feel blessed beyond measure to be able to be called their daughter. God really does have it all planned out…doesn’t He?  You sound like such a solid and loving family.

  • Catherine

    Your story is very moving.  I wish I had had the courage to do what your mother did.  I was coerced into having an abortion, and there was no one around years ago to help me.  I was hurt psychologicall, physically, emotionally and spiritually for man years.  My family has suffered because of it, but by the grace of God I have been forgiven and healed.  I grieve every day for my son. 

    May God bless you and your birth mother.  And happy belated birthday!

    • Leah

      Oh, I wish I could hug you!!!  So, I’m sending one…  I’m SO GLAD you know you are forgiven.  May God Bless you and your whole family as well.

  • http://twitter.com/jkruofa Jen Germain

    Yay! Yay! Yay! Many happy birthdays to you and if you ever meet your birth mom, shower her with love and hugs! And flowers wouldn’t hurt, either. :-)

  • notimportant

    I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know what to say. I am struggling with ripping away the deceptions that ran my life, and coming to grips with exactly where I am right now- which is alone and with nothing. I feel like a ghost- earthbound and forgotten, unseen while still seeing, lost to all, lost to myself. I look over my life and think it worthless. I have done all the good deeds everybody does (all the volunteering and giving), but so what? I wander the shadows alone and have often thought about my uselessness. And that’s worthlessness, because if I’m not useful, I’m worthless.

    Please don’t think I’ll do anything rash (although I am impulsive, I also know every action has serious consequences), as I am not in the right frame of mind to make any serious decisions, and I know this. Nobody has ever, in all my life, said any of the things you all have said to me. I love you guys.

    Oh, and sorry Leah! I didn’t mean to hijack the comments! 

    • ICare2

      Dear notimportant. Good Morning :)
      wow, i can relate to the statement ‘struggling with ripping away the deceptions that ran my life’. Life is a struggle, for sure. God made you for a purpose. And He loves you unconditionally.
      I Love you too!!!! I pray that we all have a wonderful day (well, in comparison to the days that we usually have :) U R Important!

    • Leah

      Oh, not at all  (about the hijacking ; )! I’m thrilled that you have been able to talk about things that have been so heavy on your heart!!!  Print out these meaningful comments, and post them around your house.  I hope the responses to you keep coming!

    • http://twitter.com/MarauderTheSN Marauder

      I can already tell that you’re not “with nothing” – want to know why? Because you understand how punctuation works. I know lawyers who still don’t understand that the comma goes outside the parentheses. Understanding punctuation is a skill, and skills are power. Having skill = having power = not having “nothing.” Don’t minimize what you have!

      Not everybody does all the good deeds, believe me. I wish they did, but they don’t. Are you interacting with people, or are you more isolated from them? It makes a big difference as to how you feel.

      I’m not doing it now because of my schedule, but I used to volunteer at a homeless shelter and watch the little kids. Nothing makes you feel useful like a little kid who thinks you’re awesome because you took the time to play Candyland or read her a book or help her draw a picture.

      Do you have relatives or friends who live near you and can help you? I don’t really have many friends right now, but I’m going to find some because my therapist helped me see that I can do it. Stick around here, hon, we’re going to figure out how to make your life at least a little better.

    • Anonymous

       Notimportant,
      You are VERY important. You just don’t know how important. You are not useless or worthless, either. God put us all on this earth for a reason. If you weren’t important, you would not be here. Even just a simple smile can brighten someone’s day, and make them go on and do something great for the world. You say that you have done volunteer work, that means that you have helped someone who really needed it. If it weren’t for you, those people who received your services would not have gotten what they needed.

      We rarely see the fruits of our labors, the ripples we make in life’s waters. Like the butterfly whose wings flapping creates the burst of air that builds into the mighty wind that powers the windmill, the little things we do in life make all the difference in the world. A small spark from a pebble of flint that is blown from a ledge, and hits another flint rock, can create a large forest fire that singes seeds under the soil in order for wildflowers to bloom, which are then used to create medicines needed to cure someone’s illness.

      I used to think like you, and sometimes I still do. I have depression, anxiety, and ADD. At one point I didn’t know what there was to keep living for. My family got me into seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist, and it has made a difference. I threw myself into the activities that I enjoyed, and learned that I do make a difference on this earth, just by being alive.

      Please see a counselor or psychologist to help you out. When you feel ready to, get involved in something that you enjoy. Music, theatre, dancing, photography, art, writing, directing, designing, programming, or whatever you’re into, find something that you enjoy and get involved. It’s important. Getting involved will help you make friends and make you see that you do make a difference. Maybe getting involved with a group at church, at school, in the community, or something like that.

      Furthermore, you’re important to God. You are very loved by Him, and all of the angels and saints. You are also loved by all of us. May God bless you and keep you, and may He carry you in this time when you need Him the most.

      :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Caroline-Saddy/100002215914632 Caroline Saddy

      So WHAT???? You are so iimportant and you cannot even imagine that just being is important. YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS. We are not a group of utilitarians……just being pro life and praying is the best one can sometimes do. Be a prayer warrior!!!

  • Laura

    Glad to have you here with us Leah :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Caroline-Saddy/100002215914632 Caroline Saddy

    I am once again amazed at these brave and true lives who accepted the gift of life from God and inspire us today. Nobody is guaranteed perfect anything…..happiness or anything, but to carry on and promote life in it’s weakness and ups and downs is what it is all about. Faith is the drama of daily stuff and a bit of laughts thrown in for good measure. To LIFE!!!!! You are the troopers!!!