Megan Cadden was 17 years old and still in high school when she learned she was pregnant. Her parents insisted she have an abortion, so reluctantly she scheduled an appointment. But a week before the day she dreaded, she decided she would not go through with it. Her son was born during her last year of high school.
Cadden told Live Action News, “It was very tough for us financially, but I never regretted giving birth to my son. I missed going to college, though, and I did regret that.”
But as times grew more stressful, Cadden turned to alcohol and drugs to cope with feeling that she had no emotional support from her parents. She abused heroin and oxy methadone along with her new boyfriend.
“My parents did help a bit financially but basically, they told me: you made your bed, now you must lie in it,” Cadden said. “I felt very alone and couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with my life.”
Eventually, Cadden entered a drug rehabilitation center. Her boyfriend chose to quit the alcohol and drugs “cold turkey,” but Cadden needed a regimen along with medical intervention to help beat her addictions.
Cadden said, “My parents pretty much gave me an ultimatum, pushing me to check into the rehab center or they threatened to take away my son. I guess it is called ‘tough love’ and apparently, it worked, because I did get clean.”
Shortly after being released, she was back with her boyfriend. Three months later, she began noticing subtle changes to her body and suspected she might be pregnant.
“I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive,” Cadden said. “I was so excited that God was giving me a blessing now that I was off the drugs and alcohol. I had one son and so did my boyfriend and now, we would have a child together.”
Wielding to pressure from family and friends to have an abortion
Yet her happiness wasn’t shared by those with whom she told of her pregnancy. They wondered how she and her boyfriend would care for a child, given their financially unstable lifestyle.
Cadden said, “I was told it wouldn’t be fair to bring a child into the situation in which I was living. Newly clean, I was emotionally weak, wanting to do anything to appease those whom I hurt during my bout with substance abuse. It seemed as if everyone was berating us instead of offering support.”
The couple began to waver and soon Cadden’s boyfriend convinced her that terminating the pregnancy would be the best thing to do.
“I loved him so much that I allowed him to persuade me to do the very thing I didn’t want to do,” Cadden said. “So we scraped together some money for the abortion and traveled to Buffalo, New York, from Pennsylvania because I didn’t want to go to a local clinic.”
As she walked toward the facility, Cadden crossed paths with an impassioned sidewalk counselor who appealed to her to reconsider her decision. Cadden stared straight ahead and quickly brushed past the woman as she focused on getting inside.
Cadden said, “The staff admonished me, saying I should have gone through the back door, but I didn’t know any better. I was just a frightened, naïve woman in her early twenties who never imagined herself in this situation.”
As Cadden was prepped for an ultrasound in the procedure room, she implored the abortionist not to provide any information, but he ignored her pleas and announced she was carrying a baby girl.
“Upon hearing this, I started crying and immediately felt sick,” Cadden said. “I was such a wreck that I threw up and was given a sedative that knocked me out completely. Afterward, my boyfriend carried me to the car. I was thankful I wasn’t awake during the abortion.”
Finding redemption amid a torrent of shame and guilt
In the days following the abortion, Cadden suffered in silence; everyone around her pretended as if the abortion never occurred.
Cadden said, “I had just gone through one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I couldn’t eat or sleep and lost a good amount of weight. I was drowning amid a sea of shame and guilt. I didn’t want people to know what I had done.”
In addition to emotional trauma, Cadden also suffered from erratic menstrual cycles and was often violently ill. In 2017, she underwent an ablation, then three years later, a hysterectomy – all due to the abortion years earlier. By this time, Cadden had married her boyfriend and they had two sons, but the anguish of the abortion lingered.
“I cringe when I hear the slogan, ‘my body, my choice,’ Cadden said. “What about the horror, the agony that abortion inflicts upon women? How can you label abortion healthcare? Why is all that being swept under the rug?”
For 14 years, Cadden hid her shame and wallowed in self-hatred. But when she married and allowed God to be the commander of her life, she started to slowly experience healing. She and her husband have been open with their four sons about the abortion and made a commitment to raise them with strong Christian values.
Cadden said, “My children love attending church. They know well the dire consequences of unchecked sexual freedom without love and commitment. We don’t want our children to make the same mistakes we did.”
While the emptiness of losing her daughter is an ever-present reminder of that mid-July day, Cadden is grateful for God’s forgiveness and grace. She takes every opportunity to educate other women about life-affirming choices and prays for clear direction on ways she can impart her message of life.
“God is teaching me to turn my mess into a message,” Cadden said. “I could have fallen into a huge hole but for His mercy. Even now, my father tells me he grieves for pressuring me to have the abortion. That pain never really goes away. I am so blessed God gave me a beautiful family, though I do think about my little girl every day and have vowed to live my best life in honor of her.”
