A contestant on the “Bachelor: Australia” has opened up about her past abortion and the effect it had on her life. Abbie Chatfield competed with other women for the heart of astrophysicist Matt Agnew, yet ended the season as a runner-up, losing to Chelsie McLeod. This was alleged to be in large part because there were doubts about her readiness for marriage and children; yet in a new podcast, Chatfield has opened up about what caused that uncertainty: her abortion.
In her interview on the “Shameless” podcast, Chatfield explained that she had undergone an abortion in March of 2018, just before appearing on the show. But the traumatic emotions continued to haunt her throughout the show, and affected her experience. She said she was continually asked by the show’s producers and other contestants about babies, and would cry every time. “I’m so sick of having to justify [to these women] why I haven’t been screaming from the rooftops,’I want kids,'” she explained. “At the time, I felt guilty for saying I wanted kids because I aborted one in March last year.”
READ: Research shows post-abortion trauma is very real, and women aren’t alone
They also brought on Snezana Wood and Laura Byrne, both former winners of the show who are currently pregnant, which also caused Chatfield to get upset. “The producer asked me if I was wondering what it was like to be pregnant, like a general ‘Isn’t it nice to see Snez and Laura pregnant? Wouldn’t it be nice to be pregnant with someone you love?'” she said. “And because I had an abortion last year, I just started sobbing.”
When she tried to discreetly tell Agnew about her abortion, producers pressured her to get the conversation on tape. “I whispered it to him and his producer didn’t hear me and said, ‘Abbie, you are going to have to say it out loud,'” she recalled, explaining that she begged them not to air that footage. “And then I turned around, looked dead in the camera and said, ‘I had a f***ing abortion last year.'” She also said she had been open with the other contestants in the house about it. But after the disastrous experience with Agnew and the producers, she broke down.
“After that I went and sobbed on that bed in the foetal position, like scream crying and I was like ‘I’m going to leave,’ so then Matt came in and got me and we had a bit of a chat and he said, ‘We’re dropping it,'” she said.
As for the abortion itself, Chatfield described it as being a horrible experience which left her feeling guilty and in a “deep depression,” and said her boyfriend at the time abandoned her. “He went out the night that I had my abortion because he wanted to be with the boys and have a few drinks even though I was holding on to his shirt and being like ‘Please don’t leave me,'” she said. “And then he told me in the weeks after that I wasn’t fun anymore.”
While Chatfield doesn’t outright say she regrets her abortion, many women have spoken out about the negative impact having an abortion had on their lives. One post-abortive woman, Marina, explained that the pain “weighs down every fiber of your being,” saying, “The fact that it is legal is like an anesthetic: you have a pain in your soul, you anesthetize it socially, so you’re better. But it is just asleep: the pain is there, and remains temporarily anesthetized inside you, but your conscience awakens it from time to time, and it’s excruciating, frustrating, and in some cases devastating.”
Similar feelings are shared by countless women. And while nothing can ever change the past, there is help and healing available for post-abortive women, especially from organizations like Rachel’s Vineyard. Abortion does not give women the freedom and empowerment the abortion industry claims it does; instead, all it does is leave women broken, scarred, and hurt.
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