Already a young mom with a six-year-old son, TJ Frasier was ready to start college when she faced another unplanned pregnancy at the age of 24. Struggling financially, Frasier knew she couldn’t take care of another child on her own. The baby’s father recommended she have an abortion — but God intervened.
Frasier told Live Action News, “On the way to the clinic, I prayed to Jesus that if he didn’t want me to have this abortion, to get me out of the situation. Turns out, the sonogram revealed that I was too early in my pregnancy to have an abortion. I was told to come back, but I never did.”
On the day her daughter was born, Frasier chose to have a tubal ligation, a surgical procedure that involves cutting the Fallopian tubes to prevent sperm from meeting the egg and is a form of permanent birth control.
“I had two children out of wedlock, and I didn’t want to bring another child into the world,” Frasier said. “I wanted to avoid that generational pattern that was such a big influence on me. I didn’t trust myself to make the right choices.”
However, Frasier was dating a new man and, despite her tubal ligation, became pregnant for a third time.
Traveling down a destructive path
Frasier said, “I knew I couldn’t parent yet another child by myself. My boyfriend gave me no support. I felt abandoned. I couldn’t see a way out, but to have an abortion.” She wasn’t prepared for the intense pain she suffered during the surgery to terminate her pregnancy.
“I was gasping for air, it was so bad,” Frasier said. “My body was lifting off the table. I couldn’t stop from responding to the violence of the procedure.”
Afterward, her limp body was transferred to a wheelchair where she was pushed into the recovery room and left alone without anyone attending to her.
Frasier said, “I was trying to assess what was going on. I thought I was going to die. I’ve never been treated in such an inhumane manner. I called out to Jesus to not let me die in that place after what I had just done.” Somehow, Frasier gathered the strength to leave of her own accord.
Once home, she broke down and cried.
“Reality set in about what I had done,” Frasier said. “I was stuck in grief.”
Yet Frasier had another abortion when she was married to the man who fathered her second child. At the time, both her sister and her husband had been deployed, and Frasier was caring for her sister’s son. When she became pregnant, she felt a mixture of shock and joy.
Frasier said, “I thought, this time I’m doing it the right way.”
But she was very ill with her pregnancy, preventing her from fulfilling her responsibilities at home.
“I just couldn’t do this on my own, being sick all of the time,” Frasier said. “Abortion as a solution began gnawing at me, whispering in my ear that it was the only way out. At the time, I was a ‘yo-yo’ Christian and had drifted far from Jesus. As such, I wasn’t listening for His voice.”
Not wanting to endure another surgical abortion, Frasier talked to her husband, who told her whatever she chose to do would be solely her decision.
Frasier said, “I thought taking the abortion pill would be easier, but it was emotionally traumatic. You are passing your baby into the toilet. I just couldn’t look down into the toilet; it would have been too agonizing and heart wrenching.”
Afterward, she coped by trying to distract herself; if she didn’t, that would require her to grapple with uncomfortable truths and overwhelming emotions.
“I was never taught to effectively deal with the emotions I was experiencing,” Frasier said. “All I knew was avoidance, but I was deceiving myself. I didn’t want to see the darkness of my heart.”
Finding redemption in Jesus sparks a passion to help other men and women wounded by abortion
Despite being a backslidden Christian, turning from Jesus countless times throughout her life, Frasier found Jesus always welcomed her back, in the face of all her brokenness. She related the biblical truth of 2 Timothy 2:13: “Though I am unfaithful to Him, He remains faithful to me.” This opened her eyes to how the Lord’s provision had carried her through the worst of times. Healing would come in various ways.
“There was a point where I didn’t have a car, financial stability or an education, but I overcame those obstacles with Jesus’s grace,” Frasier said. “I attained my nursing license and have come to see how blessed I am.”
Her second daughter, whose life she almost ended, is named “Jaden,” meaning “God has heard.”
While reading the book, “Heaven is for Real,” she learned about the little boy in the real-life story who saw his sister while briefly in heaven – a sister who was never born due to a miscarriage.
“I felt this demonstrated to me that my aborted babies were alive and in heaven,” Frasier said. “Jesus always had a plan; He gave me a dream where I met my son and daughter. He was allowing me to be reunited with them.”
For Frasier, abortion was such a shameful topic that she refused to talk about for so long. Now, she shares her testimony, most recently on YouTube through a Christian ministry, which she says has changed lives.
Frasier said, “People have reached out to me, and it has given me a desire to help men and women like me to heal. There’s hope and forgiveness found in Jesus. He can be trusted with our abortion wounds.”
