As a young college student, David Bangs at first resisted when his pregnant girlfriend announced she would be willing to abort the couple’s child. He had been raised Catholic and was against abortion, though he didn’t really understand why; he didn’t know much about abortion. Yet months later he would have a change of heart.
Bangs told Live Action News, “I got a reality check. I started worrying about what people would think and how we would support a baby and I didn’t want to tell my parents. So, I told my girlfriend to go ahead and get the abortion. I stayed out of it, though. Her father took her to the clinic and paid for the procedure.”
Because the couple had waited so long, Bangs’ partner was close to five months and visibly pregnant, requiring her to go to the hospital for the procedure. Her parents, Bangs noted, seemed fine with her decision to terminate a late-term pregnancy.
“I was at her parents’ home when she came back from the hospital,” Bangs said. “She never mentioned it and neither did I. From that point forward, it was a topic we stayed away from.
Shortly afterward, Bangs’ girlfriend suggested they end their relationship, but he convinced her to remain together. They married three years later.
Bangs said, “I think I was trying to right a wrong somehow. But though we had three children together, the marriage was rocky. When you’re two damaged people trying to build a house on sand, it results in an unstable foundation and that’s the best way to describe our partnership.”
911 tragedy spurs an awakening of the devastation of abortion
In 2001, Bangs was employed as a commercial airline pilot in England when the horror of 911 impacted the world. He was stunned to learn of the thousands of American lives lost that day, including personal friends.
“It was incredible to realize that an airplane had been used as an instrument of death,” Bangs said. “The devastation of lives hit me hard.”
To compensate for all the pain Bangs had pushed inside that stemmed from the abortion and the 911 tragedy, he was compelled to work 10–14-hour days nonstop — as if he had a death wish.
“I felt angry all of the time,” Bangs said. “And I was also struggling with depression. When my grandfather died, I experienced an over-the-top reaction, rather like a breakdown.”
He traced the start of his psychological battles to when he held his first-born child in the hospital.
Bangs said, “I remember cradling my newborn baby and just sitting there sobbing. Every subsequent birth elicited deep and raw responses such as crying and violent outbursts as did the deaths of those I loved as well.”
It was around this time that Bangs entered counseling for help in managing his out-of-control life. He gained insight into the link between his emotional trauma and the abortion many years earlier. Then, in October, his life was upended when his house was destroyed by a flood followed by his wife filing for divorce after 20 years of marriage.
“I was a wreck,” Bangs said. “I had lost everything – my home, my family, even my job. I couldn’t pilot an airplane because of the medication I was on to manage my depression.”
Redemption opens door to newfound purpose
Alone on New Year’s Eve, Bangs fell to his knees and asked God to teach him how to pray. He repented for all he had done to violate God’s principles.
Bangs said, “I praised Him for helping me fulfill the plan and purpose he had for my life while asking his help in dealing with the current challenging circumstances I was in.”
That prayer opened the door to more consistent conversations with God and soon Bangs started attending Mass.
“Eventually, I had the opportunity to go back to my job as an airline pilot, but God had other ideas for me,” Bangs said.
In 2007, he participated in the 40 Days for Life campaign and attended Rachel’s Vineyard retreat 60 miles away in Indianapolis where his conviction to be involved with post-abortive work was ignited.
Bangs said, “It was important that I first get healing before I could help others go through the same process. Once I did that, I worked to plant more Rachel[‘s] Vineyard retreats in critical areas outside of Indianapolis.”
His involvement in Rachel’s Vineyard led him to seek a post-abortive retreat specifically targeted to men. He learned about Project Joseph (projectjosephdallas.org) in Dallas and established a chapter in Indianapolis, hosting the first retreat in September 2022. He built two pregnancy support centers which are operated by an organization that manages existing centers.
“Abortion intervention and post-abortion healing is now a full-time ministry for me,” Bangs said. “Being complicit in the abortion of my child was by far the worst decision I ever made. Abortion is a destroyer of relationships, of souls and of the most vulnerable.”
As he reflected on what led him to change his mind and support his girlfriend’s desire to end her pregnancy, he saw how family dynamics played a key role.
Bangs said, “I feared my parents would judge me harshly if I told them I had gotten my girlfriend pregnant. I never wanted them to know. When my dad was grappling with cancer, I finally confessed. My dad responded with regret, telling me he felt partly responsible for the abortion because of the judgmental environment he fostered while I was growing up.”
From that frank conversation between father and son, layers of resentment and hurt were replaced by forgiveness and peace. For Bangs, though redemption was bittersweet, his heart was overflowing with gratitude for a newfound purpose — guiding men in making life-affirming choices.
“Every woman I’ve talked to who terminated their pregnancies told me they just wanted their partner to tell them not to do it,” Bangs said. “Men need to tell their partners that abortion is wrong; we made a choice that resulted in creating a human life together and we need to take responsibility for that life.”
