Actress Lily Collins, known for her role as the title character in the Netflix series “Emily in Paris” and also as the daughter of legendary musician Phil Collins, is facing backlash after sharing she and her husband Charlie McDowell used a surrogate to carry their first child.
“Welcome to the center of our world Tove Jane McDowell,” Collins posted on social media over the weekend alongside an image of the infant girl. “Words will never express our endless gratitude for our incredible surrogate and everyone who helped us along the way.”
What are critics saying?
In response to Collins’ announcement, critics have taken to the internet to share their concerns about the normalization of surrogacy. Some social media users even equated Collins’ decision to the dystopian novel “The Handmaid’s Tale,” in which disadvantaged women are subjugated to carry children for the societal elite.
One commentator, writing for The Independent, added that working-class women struggle to empathize with stories of wealthy celebrities voluntarily paying for surrogacy when average families struggle to afford standard infant expenses, like formula and childcare.
“Many of the women outraged by surrogacy feel that way because children are becoming little more than expensive commodities. Kids are now akin to a status symbol, a lifestyle option for the rich and/or famous,” the article concludes.
Other critics, however, are more concerned with the practice of surrogacy itself, pointing out the negative impacts the child inevitably experiences after being separated from his or her birth mother. It should be noted that while adoption and surrogacy both separate a child from his or her birth mother, adoption seeks to heal the separation trauma created when a birth parent is unable to care for that child. Surrogacy, however, creates the separation trauma intentionally, from the outset.
“Every instance of surrogacy forces a child to go through maternal separation—a traumatic event that has been shown to cause significant, and sometimes life-long damage. Most instances of surrogacy, including this one, allow children to be exchanged for money under contract,” Them Before Us, a children’s rights advocacy organization, shared with Live Action News. “When celebrities like Lily Collins acquire children via surrogacy, they send a public message that it is acceptable and normal to intentionally and commercially subject a child to the trauma of maternal separation. This sacrifices the rights of children for the desires of adults.”
How have Collins and McDowell reacted to the criticism?
McDowell hit back against the pair’s critics through a social media comment under the post about their child’s birth.
“In regards to the unkind messages about surrogacy and our path to having a baby— it’s ok to not be an expert on surrogacy,” the screenwriter and director stated. “It’s ok to not know why someone might need a surrogate to have a child. It’s ok to not know the motivations of a surrogate regardless of what you assume.”
McDowell went on to instruct those who question surrogacy to “spend less time spewing hateful words into the world.”
LONDON, ENGLAND – OCTOBER 30: Charlie McDowell (L) and Lily Collins attend the press night after party for “Barcelona” at The Crypt, St Martin-in-the-Fields, on October 30, 2024 in London, England. (Photo by Alan Chapman/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Why is surrogacy so popular among celebrities?
Despite the widespread support the couple has received from celebrity peers and mainstream media outlets, the question of why Hollywood elites continue to employ surrogates to carry their children remains at the forefront of public discourse.
As one surrogacy business explains it, surrogacy is a popular choice among same-sex celebrity couples who prefer to engineer an infant that is biologically related to one of the parents rather than pursue adoption. Famous homosexual pairs that have used surrogates to carry their children include Elton John and David Furnish, as well as Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka.
For some celebrity women, surrogacy offers an opportunity to obtain a biological child without inconveniencing their careers or establishing a stable relationship with a potential father.
Actress Lucy Liu has shared she used a surrogate because, in her words, “I was working and I didn’t know when I was going to be able to stop.” Similarly, single actress Amber Heard used a surrogate to carry her daughter, stating, “I hope we arrive at a point in which it’s normalized to not want a ring in order to have a crib.”
READ: Long-term Canadian study: Surrogates have 3x severe illness rate compared to natural pregnancies
Surrogacy promises convenience – but critics push back on its ethics
Despite the influence of the wealthy and famous such as Lily Collins normalizing commercial surrogacy, the practice remains highly controversial due to its negative impacts on both the surrogate mother and the baby she carries.
Jennifer Lahl, founder and president of The Center for Bioethics and Culture Network, previously discussed the ethics of surrogacy in an interview with Live Action founder and president Lila Rose. In addition to research indicating that surrogates also have higher rates of preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, preterm birth, postpartum depression, and chronic illness, Lahl shared about the mental toll of separating a child from his or her surrogate mother.
“[W]e can’t ignore what we know — and we’ve known for so long — children love their mother, they want their mother,” Lahl explained. “When I see these babies ‘wet from the womb’ being put on the chest of strangers — whether that be a female stranger or whether that be a gay man — that’s where the adult is doing it for them, not for the benefit of the child.”
Research in developmental psychology has also indicated that children born through surrogacy experience adjustment difficulties due to dealing with role confusion throughout childhood.
“Every child, regardless of the circumstances of their birth or conception, deserves to be valued, cherished, and recognized as a priceless gift,” Them Before Us told Live Action News. “That does not mean that we should be silent about the injustices inflicted on that child when adults enter into contracts that monetize children and force them to experience the loss of their birth mother. It’s time for adults to put children first and reject child-harming industries like surrogacy.”
