Amy Miles always knew she was adopted and that she had been born prematurely. She assumed that her biological mother, who was a college student when she became pregnant, cared so much about her that she had placed her for adoption so she could have a loving, stable home. The truth was far more disturbing, and Miles was 36 years old before she learned it.
Miles told Live Action News, “My adoptive parents were very protective of me. They encountered so many challenges in their journey to adopt. When they saw my tiny body in the neonatal unit at a Catholic hospital, they noticed a mark on my head and wasn’t sure what it was. Because they were hesitant, the judge told them to ‘sleep on it’ but my father knew they were meant to be my parents.”
A doctor told Miles’ parents to watch for signs of cerebral palsy, a condition caused by an abnormality or interruption in brain development.
“My mother was a nurse, so she kept taking me to the doctor to get me checked out,” Miles said. “My motor skills were slow, and I didn’t learn to walk until I was three years old.”
When Miles was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, one doctor told her mother that Miles would likely have to be institutionalized. Another doctor assured her parents Miles would be fine — and she was, though she did have a difficult childhood because of her disability; in addition to impaired muscle coordination, she wore hearing aids and felt different from her classmates.
Miles said, “We were a family of faith and got through the worst of times.”
Years later, as Miles gazed at her first child nestled in her arms, thoughts about her biological mother returned.
“When I tried to ask questions about the circumstances of my birth, my parents became emotional,” Miles said. “I was just told this young girl wasn’t ready to be a mother so I kind of made up my own story about her.”
As her family grew, Miles would silently thank her birth mother for choosing life. She hadn’t thought much about locating her until a co-worker shared that she had placed her child for adoption and maintained a good relationship with her.
Miles said, “I started thinking that I, too, wanted to have a relationship with my natural mother. But when I told my parents, they were startled and became evasive, saying they would contact the adoption agency.”
A long-held, dark secret revealed
The next morning, Miles’ adoptive mother showed up at her home holding two Starbucks coffees. Miles knew something was odd.
“She had never done that before,” Miles said. “But she had something to tell me — that I was a survivor of a botched abortion. I had felt things didn’t add up, but I was stunned and shaken at the news. I had no concept of what an abortion survivor meant and didn’t know how to deal with the revelation.”
For some time, Miles struggled with grief and survivor’s guilt.
READ: Her mother’s dark secret and her own miscarriage cemented her compassion for women in crisis
Miles said, “I felt bad that so many babies had died from abortion and that I lived. I grieved not only for their lost lives, but also for the mothers who felt they had no other option but to kill their babies. I could not imagine aborting my precious babies.”
Yet Miles felt God still had a purpose for her life, that he would bring beauty from ashes. She had always felt her heart’s mission was to work with disabled children and now, as an occupational therapist, she was fulfilling that dream. Yet, she understood that at the right time, God would reveal the next steps of his plan.
“My husband had always been passionate about pro-life principles,” Miles said. “I encouraged him to get involved in the movement, but I wasn’t ready at the time. I couldn’t even say the word ‘abortion survivor’ without choking up. I didn’t even think I could be friends with a woman who had an abortion.”
Miles’ husband directed her to the Abortion Survivors Network founded by another survivor, Melissa Ohden, and urged her to connect with the organization so she could meet other abortion survivors and find peace.
Once she got plugged into the Abortion Survivor’s Network, it was as if a light penetrated the darkness in her soul.
Finding her voice
“I not only got healing but found my voice,” said Miles. “I was encouraged to share my story, one that women needed to hear. I was now in a better place than I had been and over time, forgave my birth mother for what she had done.”
When Miles went to get a passport for an upcoming trip, she took what she thought was her birth certificate given to her by her adoptive mother. But she soon learned it was just a document with some vague health care information.
“That prompted me to reach out to a state agency to get my pre-adoption birth certificate,” Miles said. “From that, I pieced together some information about my birth mother.”
She sent her birth mother a letter through the U.S. mail and has continued to correspond with her.
“While I’m happy to have contact with her, I can’t help her with the guilt and shame she’s been grappling with,” said Miles.”Yes, I’m a victim of abortion but so are the vulnerable women and men who have been targeted by the deceptive practices of the abortion industry.”
She said her birth mother expressed gratefulness for her adoptive parents.
“Adoption is life-giving,” Miles said. “I’m fortunate to have had such an amazing life.”
Since joining the Abortion Survivors Network, Miles has spoken at various pregnancy resource center fundraisers and has shared her testimony with media outlets like “Fox & Friends.” But for Miles, being a mother is the most important role she plays.
“I still have young children at home, so I need to balance my outreach activities with being a mom,” Miles said. “Abortion impacts generations. It’s going to take a combined effort to change the culture around abortion. That’s what I’m called to do.”
