Today is year two. The second year since I walked away from Planned Parenthood. The anniversary of my new life. I am a better mother, a better wife, a better friend, and a new creation in Christ. These two years have been the best of my life. It hasn’t been without some heartache, but it has all been worth it.
I am filled with emotions today. I am happy because I never thought my life would turn out so beautiful. It is wonderful to follow God’s plan. I am blessed in a way that I don’t deserve. I have amazing friends…friends that I didn’t have just two years ago…friends that will be with me the rest of my life. My marriage is better than it has ever been. I never realized how the evil of my job had crept into my life at home. Now we are free of that. I value my daughter more than I ever have. I never really saw motherhood as a gift; now I am able to see that it is the greatest gift we are given as women.
I also look back on the day I resigned and feel emotional. I couldn’t have had better allies in my corner…the Brazos Valley Coalition for Life. My world was falling apart and they were strong, prayerful, centered. They were there to guide me when I didn’t know where to step…especially Shawn Carney. I wouldn’t be here…healthy, grounded, stable…without him. When I showed up at his office, he started to protect me. I couldn’t seem to see what was in the future for me, but he could. He was prepared.
I will never forget the day, 2 years ago today, when I told him that I had to resign right then. I said I couldn’t wait. I had planned on waiting, but I just knew I couldn’t wait any longer. I was going to go back there, pack up my stuff and leave. Shawn had been in “go mode” since minute one and I don’t think he had really gotten a chance to enjoy what was happening. I mean, I was the director of the clinic his group was trying to shut down. This was a victory. But he hadn’t taken the time to celebrate. But there, in that parking lot, just me and Shawn…that was his moment. I will never forget his face…the smile, the joy in his eyes. We both couldn’t stop smiling and laughing. It was pure peace…pure joy. I don’t think I had ever felt that before.
I am also burdened today. So many of my friends are still there, in those clinics. People that won’t communicate with me anymore. Good people who are misdirected. I am now the enemy. I feel broken for all of those that are still caught in the justification of the abortion industry. I desperately want them to feel the freedom that I do. I want to share this happiness with them. If they could just experience it for one day, they would never go back. If they could just free themselves from the lie, the truth would heal their brokenness. I fear for their hearts…I am scared they will become hardened. I fear for their eternal souls. I pray for all clinic workers every day. I hope you will also consider making this a priority for you.
I have to thank everyone who has been on this journey with me. All of you have been my inspiration. You keep me going every day. The stories you share with me touch my heart. I am just one person in this mighty pro-life army. All of you keep me strong. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And especially to Elizabeth McClung. You were once my sidewalk counselor…now you are my best friend. God had something very special in store for us. You bring me sunshine every day.
Abortion has been my life for 10 years now. I have destroyed many lives. I will live every day righting that wrong. St. Joan of Arc said, “I am not afraid. I was born to do this.” I am not afraid to stand up against anyone and give a voice to the children that have been lost. I believe I was born to do this…I believe you were, too. We were born to stand up for these children in the womb. We are soldiers…warriors in this battle for life. We are willing to stand up to evil and say NO. No weapon formed against us will prosper. We are with God. We are His. He can change any heart. He can open any mind. He is God. He is BIG. He is in the business of miracles. I am proof.
