Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the guest author and not necessarily of Live Action or Live Action News.
The Christmas season is bitter sweet. The beauty and brilliance of our Savior’s birth casts a merciful shadow over the death of my child to abortion — December 17, 1980 — a tragic day, forever etched in my mind.
As I place my nativity set out each year, I reflect on Jesus — conceived and brought forth as a baby — so fragile, tender, vulnerable, yet destined to be Savior of the world! I am profoundly grateful our Savior came into our messy, broken world… a world steeped in sin, yet ripe for the angel’s announcement of his birth: “behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people.”
The recent birth of my first grandson heightened the sense of holy awe at the miracle of conception, development, and birth! The sheer JOY of looking into my grandson’s face unearthed echoes of grief over the face I never got to behold.
Forty-two years and the loss is still real.
My child, though at just 6 weeks gestation, was not a “clump of cells,” but a real baby, a real living being with a beating heart. As another post abortive woman so aptly said, “I didn’t have an abortion, I had a baby whose life I terminated.”
Though Christ has forgiven me and brought deep inner healing from the gaping wound of loss… a scar remains. It is a tender area that hurts when “bumped” by new seasons, transitions, or triggers that “poke.” But this is as it should be. My child was conceived in the heart of God, before he was placed in my womb. My child was first and foremost God’s child. My child’s life mattered then and continues to matter now.
Let us respond to Christ’s call to “Rescue those who are being taken away to death… hold them back from their doom!” Let us speak out, acknowledging our children’s value, and sparing others from going down the destructive path of killing an innocent life. Killing our children kills a part of us.
We need to tell our stories, so others are given courage to identify and purge the infected soul wounds that need deep inner healing. I believe telling our stories will spare others’ lives – both babies AND their parents.
Thank you, Jesus, for coming for me when I cried out for mercy. Thank you for forgiveness, for healing, and for ushering life-GIVING purpose from my pain. Thank You that You came to a world in desperate need. Thank You that there is no sin that You cannot forgive. Your mercy is extravagant. Your redemptive purposes know no bounds.
As I reflect, during the anniversary of my child’s death, I would tell him:
I confess I mercilessly killed you. A sense of urgency and sheer panic tamped down my mother’s instincts. I was blind. Now I see. I am gravely sorry I snuffed out your precious little life. I love you. I look forward to seeing you in heaven. I hope you are proud of how your mommy has used your story to shine TRUTH on the horror of abortion; to preach the gospel of God’s forgiveness, healing and grace; and to give others hope and healing. I believe your life will spare others from making the tragic choice I made.
I only wish I had known Christ then, particularly at that crisis juncture. I wish I had known where to go for support and the courage to have given you birth. I KNOW you would have been an amazing man, here on earth. I love you, son. I miss you. I am so sorry. Thank you for forgiving me.
At Christmas time, it is a special time to reflect upon Your holy birth. Thank you, Jesus, for coming to us, revealing our Father’s heart, and saving all who call upon You. Thank you for showing the value of babies, for that is how You, the very King of the Universe, CHOSE to come.
We honor You, Lord. You are the Author of Life. Bring truth to bear on the human heart so that abortion will become unthinkable in our land. To this end we persistently pray. Amen.
