When Amber Casey discovered she was pregnant, the 25-year-old was deeply conflicted. She didn’t want to have an abortion, yet she didn’t want a child with the man with whom she was having a casual fling. She wasn’t in love with him – they had just been dating for a short time.
Casey told Live Action News, “I only had known him for a couple of months. We met at work and started hanging out. When I told him I was pregnant, he said we’d work it out but soon changed his tune. I knew he was married but he told me his marriage was over.”
Still, Casey felt her boyfriend was connected to his wife despite telling her he was living separately and in the process of a divorce. While he told Casey it was “her body” and ultimately, her decision whether to have an abortion, she thought it best to “cancel” the pregnancy.
“I was so broken at this point in my life,” Casey said. “While I was raised a Christian, and occasionally attended church services, I didn’t really have a relationship with God. I was struggling to find my purpose.”
Though Casey didn’t tell her parents about her pregnancy, they strongly disapproved of her relationship with her boyfriend. As such, Casey felt as if she was living in a toxic environment. “My parents could see through my boyfriend’s charm,” Casey said. “They didn’t hold back in conveying they thought I was with someone who wasn’t right for me.”
At a crossroads, Casey felt as if she had nobody in her corner to provide wise counsel.
“My best friend at the time had been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant,” Casey said. “So, when I broached the subject of abortion, it drove a wedge between us and shut down any productive conversation we could have.”
Boyfriend and pastor conspired to coerce her to abort
A Christian friend of Casey’s boyfriend told him all children were a gift from God. But he had something different in mind when he arranged a dinner with his pastor and invited Casey to come along.
Casey said, “First, this pastor made fun of my Baptist upbringing, then he told me that Jesus would forgive me if I had the abortion. He further stated that there were more cons than pros to going through with the pregnancy. I knew then that my boyfriend had conspired with him to convince me to terminate my pregnancy, despite his assertion that it was my decision.”
The pastor also told Casey she must get baptized to become fully in Christ and to be forgiven for her abortion. As the pressure mounted, Casey didn’t see a way out, yet was still grappling with the decision to abort her child.
“I visited a pregnancy support center to get more information about abortion and the counselors there prayed with me,” Casey said. “They talked me through it so I left thinking I wouldn’t have the abortion. My boyfriend disapproved of my decision to go there, knowing I’d be even more conflicted.”
Resigned, Casey made an appointment at an abortion clinic, caving to the pressure her boyfriend exerted. “I didn’t have the willpower not to go through with it. The decision was heavily influenced by my boyfriend,” Casey said. “Still, I was sick to my stomach knowing I would be complicit in ending my pregnancy.”
She wondered how she could call herself a Christian, yet kill her child. She knew she should have listened to her parents and steered clear of this man. Now, she had a strained relationship with them and with her best friend.
“Because of the tension at home, I moved in briefly with my best friend who asked me to move out after a few weeks,” Casey said. “Then I stayed with my boyfriend and realized we had nothing in common but sex.”
She was ‘distraught’ after her experience with the abortion pill
Now, here she was at the largest abortion clinic in Charlotte, with loud music blasting from speakers to tamper any conversations between women seeking abortions and the pro-life sidewalk counselors.
Casey said, “I looked at the sidewalk counselors and felt shameful, but I also saw them as the enemy.”
She saw so many young girls waiting hours for surgical abortions, while she was there to get the abortion pill, thinking it would be a much easier way to end her pregnancy. Yet she had no idea what awaited her.
“They told me it would be like a heavier period,” Casey said. “They watch you take the first pill in the exam room, then send you home with the second pill. When I was given a prescription for the pain, I knew this wasn’t good.”
As she was standing in line at Walmart to get her prescription filled, she felt a warm rush of blood come out and immediately hurried to the restroom.
Casey said, “I pulled down my pants and saw the sac with the baby was there, but I couldn’t see much because tears were running down my face, blinding my vision.”
Returning to the pharmacy, Casey put her jacket in front of her pants to hide the blood stains. “I felt so numb, but I was also scared,” Casey said. “The reality of what I had done was started to permeate my consciousness and I became very distraught.”
By the time she arrived home, the pain was so intense she started to feel as if she was going to pass out.
Casey said, “I crawled on all fours to get to the bathroom. My vision was starting to dim, feeling as if I was going in and out of consciousness. I really thought I was going to die.”
She called the clinic and was advised to call 911. But she just curled up in a fetal position until she finally fell asleep. She experienced heavy bleeding for several days but never went to the doctor.
“I felt as if I deserved this, and cried myself to sleep many nights,” Casey said.
A new way forward: Forgiveness in Christ
Struggling to come to terms with her abortion, Casey confided in her hair stylist — whose mother happened to host a post-abortion Bible study in her home. Casey was connected to a place where she could find healing.
“It is amazing what God can do when you open yourself up to the kind of healing He offers,” Casey said. “It was tough to go through but worth it.”
She reconnected with a friend who was instrumental in introducing Casey to Love Life America. During the group’s Prayer Walk, standing on the sidewalk at the abortion facility where she had taken her first pill, Casey shared her testimony.
“Christ offers forgiveness and healing,” Casey said. “It is rewarding to see other women heal. I am seeking ways to be involved in the pro-life movement, and as I pray, God keep revealing more and more.”
