As many women are speaking out about their abortion trauma and regret through Live Action’s Can’t Stay Silent campaign, some are noting that abortion wasn’t really a “choice” for them at all, but rather something they felt they were forced to do because they had no other options.
In an interview with Alternatives Pregnancy Center for its My Choice, My Story platform, a woman named Cassi shares that this was her experience. Thankfully, she was able to eventually find healing — and she’s sharing her story in the hopes that other women recognize that they do have other choices besides abortion.
READ: Live Action’s new campaign, ‘Can’t Stay Silent,’ shines a light on abortion’s harm to women and men
Cassi said she first found out she was pregnant in her early 20s, and she was unsure if she could care for a baby. “I just didn’t know if I could do it, and the father definitely made it clear that he didn’t want to move on with the pregnancy either,” she said.
While she was unsure how to handle having a baby, she said she also knew deep down that abortion was not the answer. “I kind of pushed my own parents away because I didn’t want to tell them that I was even considering an abortion because in my heart I knew that that wasn’t the right decision, especially for me.”
Unfortunately, she says she surrounded herself with negative voices, particularly those of the father of the child and his family, who pressured her to abort.
As she went in for the abortion, she notes that there was zero concern or support from the staff at the facility. “When I went into the clinic before the procedure, there was definitely no support from the medical team that was there. Nobody was questioning, ‘Are you ok? How do you feel?’ I was totally alone through the whole process, and I don’t think any of them cared that I was maybe feeling conflicted at the time… It was a very lonely, lonely thing.”
After the abortion, she describes feeling numb and entered a deep depression, burying many of her emotions for several years. She also began doing drugs and drinking just to stay numb. “I wanted to avoid even thinking about it or admitting that it happened. I was almost ashamed at that point and upset with myself.”
As she was going through this, Cassi also said she fell away from God — something she describes as “very scary.”
Eventually, though, she reached a turning point where she recognized what the abortion had done for her — and sought help.
“Thanks to Alternatives and the post-abortion counseling, I feel really good about myself now,” she said. “Before, I felt like I needed to punish myself a lot for what happened, and didn’t think that I could get back to God or my church family.” While she admits that she is still very emotional about the abortion, she said she’s in a much better place now.
“What I wish I would have known is that I didn’t have to make this decision alone,” she said. “There are people out there that care.”
