Joe Toles is not just a father; he’s a former foster youth who aged out of the system and has made it his mission to help other kids like him to find forever families.
Toles grew up in New York City but now lives in Alabama. Though he didn’t have a permanent family, his high school track coach became a father figure for him. “He saw something in me that nobody else did, and he made me believe it,” Toles told CBS News. “I am of the mindset that everything that happened to me in life was in preparation for me to be the best who I could be.”
The best person he could be is a father to eight boys, all adopted through the Dave Thomas Foundation, and all at risk of aging out of the foster care system. His first son, Xavier, was adopted at age 18. “It was kind of like, I didn’t need a parent for all these years,” Xavier said. “Why do I need one now?”
As Toles wrote for the Dave Thomas Foundation, while foster care shapes children and their experiences, it should never define them. He explained:
I tell my sons that the world belongs to them. They have beaten the odds. Every year, thousands of teenagers, like them, age out of foster care without a permanent family. Through adoption, they now have an opportunity to write a happy ending to their story.
I want my boys to know that no matter what, they have a place to belong. They have people to call their family, their brothers, their father. They always have a place to call home.
As Toles knows firsthand, children who age out of foster care face a daunting road. Less than 10% of foster youth graduate from college, and foster youth are at a substantially higher risk of struggling with problems like homelessness, substance abuse, unemployment, criminal activity, and more. Without a family and a support system to help children navigate through the difficulties of life, it’s easy to fall into harmful or destructive behaviors, which Toles wants to put an end to.
He’s since formed The Joseph Toles Foundation to help other foster youth, children, and families. “My mission, my purpose, is to help,” he said, adding that he is giving his sons the most important gift of all: a family. “They’re my kids, it’s worth it because you fall in love.”
