Kristine Conway grew up in a family that held pro-life convictions and always believed that God’s word conveys that life begins at conception. When she married and started her own family, she could never have known that her pro-life values would be challenged.
In 2004, as a 40-year-old mother of five healthy children, Conway felt sure her sixth pregnancy would progress as usual. Then an ultrasound revealed her pre-born daughter showed markers for Down syndrome. Her midwife suggested she undergo an amniocentesis to confirm the diagnosis, but she declined due to the risks of amniocentesis.
Conway told Live Action News, “After making this decision about the amniocentesis, the midwife referred me to the hospital’s lead physician, who tried to convince me to have the procedure because I was at greater risk of having a child with Down syndrome given my age. I just wasn’t comfortable with being pressured to have the amniocentesis.”
More concerning, the doctor suggested to Conway that she consider her “options” – telling her that she should not rule out terminating her pregnancy given her preborn child most likely had this disorder. That’s when she ended her relationship with the doctor and found a midwife not associated with the hospital.
“I didn’t really struggle with the possibility that my baby might have Down syndrome,” Conway explained. “I knew that we would all love her regardless and that any alterations we needed to make as a family would be easily done.”
After refusing abortion, Conway gave birth to a baby in March 2005 — and she did not have Down syndrome.
Now, 16 years old, her daughter is a gifted artist who paints under the tutelage of an accomplished elderly man who told Conway her daughter is the best student he’s ever mentored. The gift of their daughter could have been taken from them, Conway said, had she and her husband “mindlessly listened to and followed that physician’s counsel and aborted our child.”
The Conway family (Photo courtesy of Kristine Conway)
READ: Pressured to abort due to a prenatal diagnosis, they refused and their daughter was born healthy
When Conway was pregnant with her seventh child, she used the same midwife as before and felt she was in good hands. She did not have access to an ultrasound during this pregnancy, but felt certain her baby’s development was progressing normally.
But when her due date arrived and went, she briefly wondered if there was a problem since she had always delivered on time. She told herself the baby would arrive in God’s timing. As Christmas drew near, she was anxious for the new addition to her family. On December 9, Conway finally went into labor, but tragically gave birth to a stillborn son the following morning.
“We found out he had anencephaly, a serious birth defect where the baby [develops] without parts of the brain and skull and wouldn’t have survived long outside the womb,” Conway said. “In retrospect, I realize the ultrasound probably would have revealed the anencephaly, but again, there would have been no ‘options’ to contemplate. Even today, he’s still part of our family, counted as one of our children.”
Conway grieved the loss of her son. As a result, she spent a great amount of time researching anencephaly and its root causes. She found solace in reading her Bible during those dark days, allowing herself time to heal. She kept a Word document of inspirational quotes and verses and delighted in the memories of talking and singing to him while he had been in the womb.
“My son was the only baby I was ever overdue with, and in that, God gave me extra time with him, time I was impatient about but now cherish and have been grateful for since losing him,” Conway told Live Action News.
As a result of her own experiences, Conway felt compelled to start a small outreach to help other women who had experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth, sending them a note of comfort and a heart-shaped wooden ornament with a cut-out teardrop or a bookmark with a picture of Jesus playing with an infant.
Conway said, “Losing a baby isn’t devoid of gain. My loss has instilled in me compassion for those going through the same trauma as I did. Because of that, I’ve gained the ability to help other women who are grieving the loss of a child. And I have a much deeper understanding of God’s great love and mercy, no matter the circumstances.”
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