Last week The Onion posted a tongue-in-cheek story which jokingly claimed Planned Parenthood was opening up a new $8Billion, 900,000-square-foot “AbortionPlex”:

The 900,000-square-foot facility has more than 2,000 rooms dedicated to the abortion procedure. The abundance of surgical space, [Planned Parenthood President] Richards said, will ensure that women visiting the facility can be quickly fitted into stirrups without pausing to second-guess their decision or consider alternatives such as adoption. Hundreds of on-site counselors are also available to meet with clients free of charge and go over the many ways that carrying a child to term will burden them and very likely ruin their lives.

The remaining space is dedicated to amenities such as coffee shops, bars, dozens of restaurants and retail outlets, a three-story nightclub, and a 10-screen multiplex theater—features intended not only to help clients relax, but to foster a sense of community and make abortion more of a social event.

The Onion also included a picture of the AbortionPlex’s “floor plan”:

Okay, so, this all sounds crazy, right?

Actually, the truth about Planned Parenthood’s current operating space and expansion plans is as strange –and almost as true– as The Onion’s “fictional” take on it.

Since 2007, as CBN News reports, Planned Parenthood has been opening up more and more “supercenters” to offer abortions and all the trappings that come with abortion:

• In 2007 PP opened up a 22,000 square foot abortion clinic in Aurora, Illinois

• In 2008 PP opened up a 40,000 square foot abortion clinic in Denver, Colorado

• In 2009 PP opened up a 23,000 square foot abortion clinic in Sarasota, Florida

• In 2010, PP opened up a massive 78,000 square foot abortion clinic in Houston, Texas

That’s not counting these huge Planned Parenthood clinics already in operation:

• A 18,000 square foot abortion clinic in Schenectady, New York

• A 10,000 square foot abortion clinic in Worcester, Massachusetts

• A 12,500 square foot abortion clinic in New Rochelle, New York

• A 10,000 square foot abortion clinic in Austin, Texas

• A 14,000 square foot abortion clinic in Santa Ana, California

• A 10,500 square foot abortion clinic in Yakima, WA

• A 10,000 square foot abortion clinic in Fresno, California.

• etc…

In fact, if you add up the square footage of just the “super-centers” I mention above – you get almost 250,000 square feet of Planned Parenthood abortion clinic! The fact is, if you count up all the space taken up by their abortion clinics nationwide, Planned Parenthood is already well on its way to having a 900,000-square-feet “AbortionPlex” – they just decided to spread them out so they can target the most vulnerable areas across our country.

On the other point that The Onion article makes, about all the “amenities” that Planned Parenthood provides its abortion “customers”, that’s not far off from the truth, either. This article in the Wall Street Journal noticed the trend back in 2008 (emphasis mine):

Flush with cash, Planned Parenthood affiliates nationwide are aggressively expanding their reach, seeking to woo more affluent patients with a network of suburban clinics and huge new health centers that project a decidedly upscale image … executives say they are “rebranding” their clinics to appeal to women of means — a move that opens new avenues for boosting revenue and, they hope, political clout.

[The new clinics] feature touches such as muted lighting, hardwood floors and airy waiting rooms in colors selected by marketing experts…

Planned Parenthood has also opened more than two dozen quick-service “express centers,” many in suburban shopping malls.

Some sell jewelry, candles, books and T-shirts, along with contraception.

One of Planned Parenthood’s biggest gimmicks, we know, is to offer low-cost (or often free) contraception to young people, only to make money off of their subsequent abortions.

And did you notice the “Chapel” in The Onion floor plan above? Seattle, WA’s Planned Parenthood, for instance, had a full-time “chaplain” on staff.

Finally — and this is especially grim:

Yep, basically true too.

… but in the end, it’s the square feet thing that gets me the most about this Onion article.

After all, let’s not forget that –when it comes to feet– these are the only feet that really matter:

Last week The Onion posted a tongue-in-cheek story which jokingly claimed Planned Parenthood was opening up a new $8Billion, 900,000-square-foot “AbortionPlex”:

The 900,000-square-foot facility has more than 2,000 rooms dedicated to the abortion procedure. The abundance of surgical space, [Planned Parenthood President] Richards said, will ensure that women visiting the facility can be quickly fitted into stirrups without pausing to second-guess their decision or consider alternatives such as adoption. Hundreds of on-site counselors are also available to meet with clients free of charge and go over the many ways that carrying a child to term will burden them and very likely ruin their lives.

The remaining space is dedicated to amenities such as coffee shops, bars, dozens of restaurants and retail outlets, a three-story nightclub, and a 10-screen multiplex theater—features intended not only to help clients relax, but to foster a sense of community and make abortion more of a social event.

The Onion also included a picture of the AbortionPlex’s “floor plan”:

Okay, so, this all sounds crazy, right?

Actually, the truth about Planned Parenthood’s current operating space and expansion plans is as strange –and almost as true– as The Onion’s “fictional” take on it.

Since 2007, as CBN News reports, Planned Parenthood has been opening up more and more “supercenters” to offer abortions and all the trappings that come with abortion:

• In 2007 PP opened up a 22,000 square foot abortion clinic in Aurora, Illinois

• In 2008 PP opened up a 40,000 square foot abortion clinic in Denver, Colorado

• In 2009 PP opened up a 23,000 square foot abortion clinic in Sarasota, Florida

• In 2010, PP opened up a massive 78,000 square foot abortion clinic in Houston, Texas

That’s not counting these huge Planned Parenthood clinics already in operation:

• A 18,000 square foot abortion clinic in Schenectady, New York

• A 10,000 square foot abortion clinic in Worcester, Massachusetts

• A 12,500 square foot abortion clinic in New Rochelle, New York

• A 10,000 square foot abortion clinic in Austin, Texas

• A 14,000 square foot abortion clinic in Santa Ana, California

• A 10,500 square foot abortion clinic in Yakima, WA

• A 10,000 square foot abortion clinic in Fresno, California.

• etc…

In fact, if you add up the square footage of just the “super-centers” I mention above – you get almost 250,000 square feet of Planned Parenthood abortion clinic! The fact is, if you count up all the space taken up by their abortion clinics nationwide, Planned Parenthood is already well on its way to having a 900,000-square-feet “AbortionPlex” – they just decided to spread them out so they can target the most vulnerable areas across our country.

On the other point that The Onion article makes, about all the “amenities” that Planned Parenthood provides its abortion “customers”, that’s not far off from the truth, either. This article in the Wall Street Journal noticed the trend back in 2008 (emphasis mine):

Flush with cash, Planned Parenthood affiliates nationwide are aggressively expanding their reach, seeking to woo more affluent patients with a network of suburban clinics and huge new health centers that project a decidedly upscale image … executives say they are “rebranding” their clinics to appeal to women of means — a move that opens new avenues for boosting revenue and, they hope, political clout.

[The new clinics] feature touches such as muted lighting, hardwood floors and airy waiting rooms in colors selected by marketing experts…

Planned Parenthood has also opened more than two dozen quick-service “express centers,” many in suburban shopping malls.

Some sell jewelry, candles, books and T-shirts, along with contraception.

One of Planned Parenthood’s biggest gimmicks, we know, is to offer low-cost (or often free) contraception to young people, only to make money off of their subsequent abortions.

And did you notice the “Chapel” in The Onion floor plan above? Seattle, WA’s Planned Parenthood, for instance, had a full-time “chaplain” on staff.

Finally — and this is especially grim:

Yep, basically true too.

… but in the end, it’s the square feet thing that gets me the most about this Onion article.

After all, let’s not forget that –when it comes to feet– these are the only feet that really matter: