Eighteen-year-old Tenysha Onyia never imagined having unprotected sex with her older boyfriend would result in an unplanned pregnancy. Yet when it did, she was both surprised and scared. She grew up in a Christian home and attended church regularly. Her parents didn’t know she was sexually active.
Onyia told Live Action News, “I guess you could say I was living a double life. I was very involved in church activities and our religious beliefs were an integral part of our family life. My entire upbringing was centered around God. Now, I had to figure out how to tell my parents about my pregnancy.”
Abortion wasn’t an option that Onyia considered. Instead, she asked her boyfriend to be with her when she told her parents. But her boyfriend, who wasn’t a Christian, had other ideas. He brought up the idea of abortion, and Onyia was deeply hurt that he would want her to end their child’s life.
“I didn’t want to do that,” Onyia said. “But when everything started settling in and I felt the weight of my situation, I started to think that might be the best option. I think if my boyfriend had been supportive, I wouldn’t have even considered abortion.”
She made the phone call to Planned Parenthood just to gather information. But the person on the phone could sense Onyia’s fear so she assured her she could simply swallow a pill and her troubles would be gone.
Onyia said, “I thought I was around six weeks, but they didn’t suggest I get an exam. They just encouraged me to come in and get the pills. They made it sound urgent by telling me I would have to get a surgical abortion if I waited any longer.”
By this time, Onyia was fully on board. She was convinced that the sooner she started the chemical abortion process, the less painful it would be. Accompanied by her boyfriend, she went to Planned Parenthood for her appointment and waited for hours.
“I was given an ultrasound and I remember thinking everything that was happening was so surreal,” Onyia said. “I felt numb, I just couldn’t get my head around what I was going to do. I was hoping to get the courage not to do it.”
When she returned to the waiting room, she lied to her boyfriend, telling him she was further along than she thought, but her boyfriend insisted she get the abortion.
Onyia said, “He refused to change his mind and I didn’t have the boldness to challenge him. I just kept quiet. We had so much conflict when talking about keeping the baby and he made it clear he didn’t want our baby.”
The doctor gave her a breakdown of how she should take the pills and told her she would experience light bleeding and mild cramps.
Unbearable pain mixed with terrible regret as abortion pill snuffs out the life of her baby
“After I took the first pill, the doctor made me open my mouth to ensure I swallowed it,” Onyia said. “Immediately, I felt devastated. The process was starting, and it was real.”
After taking the second pill, Onyia suffered from the most unbearable pain.
Onyia said, “It didn’t feel normal. I couldn’t even lay down, the pain was so intense. I went to take a shower, hoping it would help, but to no avail. I just felt helpless.”
She quickly realized the horror of a chemical abortion was nothing like she had been told. The trauma went on for hours, with seemingly no end.
“It was such a horrific experience,” Onyia said. “I knew I had made the wrong decision and felt so much regret. I was passing huge blood clots, thinking my baby is going through this. I don’t even have the right words to describe the whole ordeal.”
Onyia’s parents were in other parts of the home, unaware of their daughter’s agony while in the throes of a chemical abortion. She had been afraid to tell her parents because she had been “grounded” as a punishment for ignoring her mother’s phone calls when traveling back from Albuquerque where she obtained the pills.
Knowing the closest abortion business was three hours away, Onyia’s boyfriend had asked her parents if he could take her to a show in Albuquerque and they consented. Onyia said, “We had lied to them from the beginning. So, no matter how severe the pain, I wasn’t about to tell them what was happening.”
But she did eventually confide in her sister.
“I wasn’t the same person any longer,” Onyia said. “It was too big of a burden to carry myself. I went through a lot of emotions and thought I was going crazy. I begged my sister to take me to a mental hospital.”
Concerned about Onyia’s declining mental state, her sister confided to her parents about what Onyia had done. They had suspected Onyia was grappling with a terrible secret. But the revelation initially caused a rift in family relations and Onyia’s depression only deepened as her life continued to spiral out-of-control.
Onyia said, “I was enrolled at the university and was eventually suspended. I was not motivated, I felt I had nothing to live for. Late one night after drinking, I got attacked by a group of girls who stole my purse. I called my parents out of desperation.”
Post-abortive healing class provides a lifeline and spurs passion to help other women
Her mother contacted CareNet Pregnancy Resource Center and got Onyia enrolled in a post-abortive healing class. There, Onyia met a woman whom Jesus had set free from the binds of abortion.
“She had such a light about her,” Onyia said. “She was forgiven by Jesus and He helped her to forgive herself. I, too, needed Jesus to take this burden from me. He’s the only answer to redemption.”
Her experience ignited a desire to help other post abortive women find freedom from their past. She got connected to the H3Helpline, then eventually moved back to New Mexico, and is working at the Pregnancy Resource Center in Roswell. She is the mother of three daughters, with the youngest born in late February.
Onyia said, “I didn’t think I would ever be a mother. It has been such a blessing to experience motherhood. Jesus has restored my relationships and given me a wonderful family.”
