Pop singer Chappell Roan (real name Kayleigh Rose Amstutz) had a breakout year in 2024 with her debut album, “The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess.” She was named the Grammy award winner for 2025’s Best New Artist, and was nominated for numerous other awards. Yet her career has also been marked by some controversial moments, the latest of which revolved around her comments regarding parenthood.
In an appearance on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast, Roan was asked if she was still in touch with her friends in Missouri, to which she answered in the positive. “A lot of them are married with children, and they have their own houses, and to me… Like, I don’t know when that’s going to happen for me. I don’t know when that’s realistic, if ever,” she said.
When asked if she wanted to have children, Roan again said she wasn’t sure, but her reasoning was offensive to some parents.
“All of my friends who have kids are in hell. I actually don’t know anyone who’s happy and has children at this age… I have, like, a one-year-old, three-year-old, four and under, five and under… I’ve literally not met anyone who’s happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, who has slept.”
While many voices have either echoed or opposed what Roan said, the fact remains that parenting is difficult. Caring for a person who is wholly dependent upon you comes with challenging moments, takes a great deal of effort and investment, and at times requires a person give up his or her own desires for the good of another human being. Conservative commentator Allie Beth Stuckey noted that many have taken a one-sided view on this issue.
“The reality is… we should be talking more positively about parenting,” Stuckey said. “It’s not that it doesn’t require sacrifice. It’s not that it’s not hard. It’s not that we don’t have sleepless nights. It’s just that the joy and the happiness and the goodness children bring our lives is so much deeper and better than all of the hardship that comes with parenting. And here’s the thing that a lot of people don’t realize today: things don’t have to be easy in order to be good.”
While some people may choose not to conceive children, it has unfortunately become culturally acceptable to criticize those who choose to become parents; consider, for example, American Idol contestant Sara Beth Liebe, who was openly shamed by judge Katy Perry for having three children at age 25. Perry implied that because Liebe is a wife and mom, she didn’t want success as a singer badly enough.
Medical journals have even criticized efforts to encourage parenthood as being reminiscent of the “Handmaid’s Tale,” while MSNBC has called such efforts “racist.” Comedian Chelsea Handler (who has discussed her past abortions) has demeaned parenthood in her skits, saying, “Instead of shaming childless women for what we’re doing in the country, you should be thanking us. We are saving society.”
Comments of this nature have contributed to a growing anti-child sentiment in society, which is reflected in a cultural expectation that children should be rarely seen in public, so they do not inconvenience or trouble adults. Motherhood is made to appear as a life of misery, filled with exhaustion and ungrateful children — akin to enslavement. Parents of young children are so rarely treated with kindness that the instance of a stranger on an airplane showing generosity to a family with a cranky toddler or a crying infant becomes a viral, social media-worthy post.
Living life only for ourselves and our own needs is, in the end, a shallow life — whether one has children or not. Children should not be viewed as obstacles to one’s true fulfillment — but neither should they be viewed as a means for adults to obtain fulfillment. Children are not property or objects; they are human beings who need and deserve care — a truth that applies to all humans, regardless of age or any other arbitrary characteristic.
Perhaps people like Roan, who have no children of their own, could offer support and kindness to their friends and family members who are taking on the challenges of parenting and raising up the next generation of human beings — an inestimably important job.
Perhaps empathy and understanding are exactly what weary parents need, instead of ridicule and criticism.
