Jason Smith, a school principal in Kentucky, was working another day on the job when he met his future daughter, a then 11-year-old who was sitting outside his office.
Raven Whitaker-Smith, now 20, described herself as “an angry, troubled child.” She recounted the trauma of her early years in a recently published essay.
“The first 11 years of my life were very traumatic. Not every day was bad, but most days were bad. My biological parents were just kids when they had me and my siblings. They were drug addicts, and my home life was a very dark place. I was not safe, I did not feel love, I was neglected and abused. Being the oldest of three siblings, I often got the brunt of the trauma. I tried my best to shield my siblings from the daily abuse and neglect. I was a child though, so I could only do so much.”
When she was 11, the Department For Community-Based Services took Raven and her two siblings from their parents because their home environment was so terrible. Whitaker-Smith has since been able to reconnect with her siblings. Looking back on the day she was taken from her first home, Whitaker-Smith says, “Then, I thought that was the worst thing in the world to happen, but it turned out to be my saving grace.”
She had been passed from one foster home to the next, and was living in a group home when she met Jason Smith, the principal of her school. The day she met her adoptive father, she had been suspended from sixth grade for throwing yogurt at another student in the cafeteria.
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Smith described his first impression of Raven when he saw her in his outer office. “She was just this sweet looking, innocent little child, sitting there, kind of defeated, hopeless.”
When Smith approached Raven and talked with her about what she had done, he asked her if her behavior would have been appropriate in a restaurant, around family and friends. Raven admitted that her behavior would not have been inappropriate in a restaurant setting, but mentioned that she never had the chance to go out to a restaurant with family and friends because she lived in a group home. This struck Smith.
After work that day, Smith mentioned Raven to his wife, Marybeth. Marybeth immediately knew that Jason was serious about helping Raven in a way he hadn’t helped other students.
“This was something that, obviously, he felt pretty passionate about because I’m sure she’s not the only kid that he has dealt with who has been in a similar situation,” she said. “So something about Raven was special to him, and obviously I trusted him.”
The Smiths suffer from infertility and have no biological children. The couple served as foster parents before they met Raven, until the three children they fostered for a year were returned to the care of their biological parents.
After meeting Raven, the Smiths went through the process of being recertified as foster parents and then opened their home to Raven. After two years of fostering Raven, Jason and Marybeth were able to adopt. Raven was then a freshman in high school.
The Smiths faced some challenges as Raven adjusted to life with her school principal as her father. Whitaker-Smith told GMA it was “ weird” at first living with her dad because she was so used to seeing him as “the bad guy.” The younger Raven acted out, testing to see whether Jason and Marybeth would love her enough to keep her.
The Smiths had to teach Raven regular routines, such as showering and brushing her teeth daily. She also had to work to bring her reading proficiency to grade level. Despite the challenges they faced in raising her, the Smiths found that Raven “brought purpose into their lives.”
Whitaker-Smith is thriving today as a junior at the University of Kentucky, where she is studying social work. She says “being in foster care completely changed [her] life.” Her adoptive parents have given her the education and support she needs, but more importantly, they have given her love and hope.
Jason and Marybeth say the joy and love Raven has brought is palpable in their home.
Marybeth said, “We might have put up one [Christmas] tree before Raven … almost out of obligation, But she’s made the holidays worth celebrating and we now have not one tree but like 10 trees in the house … we have a mantle full of stockings.”
The Smiths encourage others to consider adoption. They believe any child can be successful if he or she is given the proper support and affection.
Whitaker-Smith says in her essay: “I love telling people that I was adopted. Not many people get to say their parents chose them. If anyone reading this is thinking about fostering or adopting a child, I urge you to take a chance and try it. I was twelve when I was placed with my parents. Foster care saved my life and because of that, it has inspired me to be a social worker. There are so many kids out there that are just like me when I was eleven who need to be loved, cared for, and given hope.”
