Healing is always an ongoing journey for post-abortive women, says Stefanie Libertore, Director of Recovery Services at the Hope and Healing Center in Ohio. Libertore knows this first hand — she had an abortion at 18 and traveled a long and painful road to recovery.
A senior in high school, Libertore was dating a boy two years older when she discovered she was pregnant.
Libertore told Live Action News, “I was terrified. I had been sexually active since I was 16 but never thought I would ever face an unplanned pregnancy. Strangely enough, my boyfriend’s mother had told me I was pregnant before I knew myself. My parents were divorced, and I was afraid to tell them.”
When she finally confided to her mother, she offered support, telling Libertore she would marry her boyfriend.
“I totally bought into that,” Libertore said. “My mom made me feel that we could get through this together. At the time, I didn’t know much about abortion, and it wasn’t even a possibility anyway.”
But that would change when Libertore’s mother told her father about the pregnancy.
Libertore said, “When my mom called to tell him of the news, the first thing he said was, ‘She’d better not be pregnant,’ and I felt shamed.”
Outside pressure leads to abortion
Later that evening, Libertore’s father and stepmother brought over a flyer from a local abortion facility. He told Libertore she would not be getting married.
“He said, ‘I know you’re going to make the right decision’ and I knew what he meant,” Libertore said. “My mother did not speak up and my boyfriend also never interfered. I suspect my father may have had a conversation with him.”
On a cold day in early February, Libertore’s mother and stepmother drove her to the facility to have the abortion.
Libertore said, “I cried the whole time I was there. I was put to sleep during the surgery but when I woke up, I felt so empty inside. Nobody spoke on the drive home. A few months later, my boyfriend and I broke up.”
After high school, she enrolled in college — and three years later, dropped out.
“I was in bad shape,” Libertore said. “I was looking for validation from sexual liaisons and my relationships with men all ended the same way, further adding to the shame and rejection I already felt. I started experiencing panic attacks and had nobody to talk to about what I was going through.”
Surrendering to Christ leads to forgiveness and a mission to help other women heal
Raised in the Greek Orthodox Church, she was a believer but didn’t have an intimate relationship with Christ.
Libertore said, “I struggled with depression and at times would curl up in a ball and cry. I suddenly developed a lot of anger and didn’t know why.”
Seven years after her abortion, Libertore offered her burden to the Lord and received forgiveness. She experienced a newfound joy and peace in her salvation and started attending a non-denominational church.
“I dove headfirst into the Word,” Libertore said. “I found the Word thrilling and couldn’t get enough of it. It was the best time of my life when I started following Christ.”
She was led to volunteer at the pregnancy support center as a client advocate.
Libertore said, “I felt I could atone for my abortion if I prevented just one woman from having one. I didn’t think I needed abortion healing because I had a relationship with the Lord.”
As a follower of Christ, Libertore was committed to go where He opened a door. She didn’t expect it would lead to missions trips two summers concurrently. She decided to leave her full-time job for missionary work, but wasn’t sure where to go.
“I was praying one day when I heard the Lord say one word: Petersburg,” Libertore said. “I thought that might have meant St. Petersburg, Florida, but there wasn’t a mission base there. I realized I was meant to go to Russia, and so I went.”
Before she left, a friend working at the pregnancy support center suggested she take along a post-abortive study, and she agreed.
Libertore said, “I decided to look through the study during my flight and I was just stunned. I started to feel panicked, but it was a turning point that began my grieving journey. In the period that followed, I never experienced such grief, but I was grateful to feel the loss that I hadn’t dealt with for so long.”
READ: Toni experienced first hand that ‘abortion destroys a woman’s soul, but God offers redemption’
She was compelled to fast until the weight of her abortion was fully lifted — but felt the Lord moving her in another direction.
“I heard the Lord tell me not to fast, but to celebrate, that he had been waiting for me to get to this point,” Libertore said. “He was going to see me through this process of healing.”
Upon returning home, Libertore called the pregnancy support center and met with a mentor who assisted her in unpacking all the denial, grief, and shame she had buried. Yet there were still parts of her past that Libertore needed to reconcile.
Libertore said, “I realized the difference between forgiveness and healing. When I received healing, I didn’t think my life could get any better than that, but the Lord got me on the road to also rectifying my sexual past.”
Filling the missing pieces
She finally understood her desire to fill the missing pieces in her life had led her to desperately seek love with men who could never give it.
“My dad was emotionally distant so I went along with what he wanted hoping he would love me, and everything would go back to normal,” Libertore said. “This made a huge impact on my decision to have the abortion. But I had played the blame game for too long, and I had to take responsibility for the poor choices I had made.”
In July, Libertore traveled to Chattanooga to the National Memorial for the Unborn, where she memorialized the child she had lost and experienced another layer of healing.
Libertore said, “The healing process is not just ‘one and done.’ I urge women to continually seek restoration for the deep wounds inflicted by abortion and to face their sexual past. It’s important to learn to make healthier, more life-affirming choices. The Lord has so much good in store for all of us.”
