How Do We Change Hearts and Minds?

After supporting abortion my entire life and working in an abortion clinic for years, my Ah-HA moment seemed to come from an unlikely place. I did not have a profound, sudden shift in my worldview. After years of ignoring the little voice inside me questioning the death around me—the nightmares and the regret—the truth snuck up on me.

I was involved in an online discussion of in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and surrogacy with a group of close friends who were all married mothers, and one among us agreed to be a surrogate for a friend of hers who had tragically lost a child to cancer. We were her confidantes as she went through the months of hormonal preparation for her body to accept the implantation of a baby created outside of her womb. She detailed all of the painfully unnatural things done to her body to prepare for this and she also described the IVF process—all those teeny-tiny human beings—being created in a laboratory, then stored in a freezer.

I confess I honestly hadn’t really ever thought about IVF before, but I found the process disturbing. I sought counsel from the two Catholic members of the forum who openly (but always respectfully) disagreed with what she was doing. The more I thought about IVF and the Frankenstein-like process of creating humans in this way, it all finally started making sense to me. This was unnatural, and it was wrong. These were HUMANS. It wasn’t like in the movie Alien where adults made a choice to climb into sleep chambers to willfully enter a state of suspended animation, this was the complete removal of informed consent and the complete antithesis of the maternal instinct (PROTECT BABY AT ALL COSTS). It was just… wrong.

Then.

Well, then she went on to describe a woman in her surrogacy support group who underwent prenatal genetic testing on the tiny, helpless, not-genetically-related, innocent baby growing in her body (I think you can guess where this is going.) Down syndrome. I followed the daily posts with increasing horror as she related the story of this surrogate mother who accepted “payment of her contract in full” to abort rather than to carry this baby to term and give birth. One among us pleaded with our friend to tell her about Reece’s Rainbow, that if the genetic parents didn’t want their child, he or she could have a chance of finding an adoptive home through this amazing organization that helps match children with Down syndrome with loving families, and in many cases helps defray the costs of adoption. Nope.

This was my Ah-HA moment: This woman was paid to kill the child. And she did. This is murder. Abortion is murder. I cried. I cried for that (now dead) baby. Then I cried for all of the little cold souls in the IVF freezers around the world. Then, only then, could I cry for all of the babies murdered at the clinic where I worked for so long. How many tissue boxes my small counseling office went through and I walked that pregnant mother back to the procedure room and smiled as I held the door open for her to enter the chamber of death. “You’ll be alright, I’ll come visit you in the recovery room.” My God. What had I done? No, I did not pull the trigger; but I cleaned the gun, readied the ammunition, and loaded it. Sure as the guilt of the killer himself, I was sure of my own guilt as well. The wave of remorse and regret was overwhelming. I prayed. I prayed for peace for the babies. I prayed for forgiveness. I prayed for the strength to become a better person.

All of this played out against the backdrop of a very different public view of the pro-life movement. Gone were the days of outright intimidation and harassment; replaced by a peaceful, prayerful presence outside the clinic doors peopled by compassionate souls ready and willing to assist pregnant mothers in practical, useful, and lasting ways. Only by continuing to offer truth, solace, hope, help, and love to the troubled and misguided can we ever hope to end abortion. Only by continuing to speak the truth about the horror and brutality of abortion can we hope to change minds. One heart, one soul, one mother, one child at a time.

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Read the related story where Jewels Green shares her journey from abortion clinic worker to life advocate:

  • Jennie

    beautifully written.  i’ll be sharing this.

  • Sherrie

    What a gift God has given you….the gift of truth.  Thank you so much for your candor and openness.  I hope this story touches many hearts.

  • Cashy

    thank you for writing this article….. thank you for your honesty and courage to speak the truth…God’s blessings and protection over you Jewels………

  • Margaret

    People like Jewels Green are the very ones who can contribute to the Pro-Life Movement in ways that the rest of us cannot.  Their voices are powerful as witnesses to the tragedy of abortion.  God bless you Jewels, for your courage in speaking up for the unborn, understanding that in doing so, you would have to acknowledge your previous involvement in the abortion industry.  My prayers are with you for continued strength and courage.  We are blessed to have you with us as we fight to end abortion!

    • Lana

      Abortion will NEVER end. It will either be legal or not but it will never end. 4,000 years of abortion history prove that.

  • Barneykh

    OH my…How good God is in delivering us from ourselves and forgiving us completely as the East is from the West.  I can’t imagine the horror and regret that you speak of.  My heart just ached for you.  It’s true, until we know Christ personally and His will for our lives, we are blind to what we are doing.  Im so glad that God took the blinders off of my eyes over 35 yrs ago.  He forgave me of much.  Im so glad that He never remembers…I just wish that I didn’t remember.  I remind myself everytime I go there, that God has forgiven and cleansed me and Im free!!! Praise God.

  • florence

    A really great story based on truth and facts–Florence

  • Yvonne-Catarina

    Lets give young mothers a place in the world and make a pro-baby, (pro-fairy) option.  Since I am a minimum wage earner, and am too poor to ever have sex, get married, have children, and my body belongs in society about as much as the teenage mother, we really could immortalize life and become fairy and stop shoving the adoption-option down the throat of economically disadvantaged people who really want and need to Keep their babies. 405: Panacea. 405 = :    Dahoarnn, Legguu; Torc, Legguu; Yar, Legguu; Dea, Legguu; Yer, Legguu; Eel, Legguu; Is, Legguu; Mann, Legguu; Ing, Legguu; Assk, Legguu; Kaen, Legguu.  Sing three times a de for a yer & a de.  405: Panacea.  I must admit, i’s barely started it; I’ve little idea what it does.  I don’t know what to do; self protection is taking over; I share the knowledge now, for, very shortly, I have a hunch I won’t be sharing anything.  People are psycho-crazy; I almost died from cold and lack of sleep, just because there is nowhere for a homeless person to lay down on the earth and sleep.  The only way to survive homelessness is to do drugs.  Fortunately for me, another option came along . . .  Anyways, as I change I think people cradle death like a —  like me, willing to face danger to share it this way; anger propells me forward, and yet, the death of glorifying the sacrifice of my very life is quickly dissapearing into the what used-to-be-common- to-me insanity.Humility Is Sanity.  But this, this is spiritual freedom, and anything that can heal
    a multiple personality without thousands of dollars of therapy . . . . . I’m going to share while I still can.  And, as it’s turning out, this may be the last night.   

    • Cheri

      Yvonne, do you need help?

      • Yvonne-Catarina

        I haven’t talked to people about what I care about for far too long.  Instead of
        being excited about the peace the singing is giving me, I am desperate enough to rant  to try and be heard – hardly inspirational.  Inspiration comes from following the path of self actualization . . . . amongst other things.  Ironically, I’ve noticed recently that in the simplicity of using my birth name, Catarina, my desperation drops away, I stop being psycho-crazy about needing to help someone, and I give to people.  I use the name Catarina at work now, and have started identifying myself as Catarina when I call family members.  So much
        for psychology.
        .

  • http://www.facebook.com/timmerie Timmerie Millington

    Thank you for sharing this story Jewels, it absolutely breaks my heart to hear that this woman was paid to help create then destroy the life of that innocent child.  Surrogacy is a topic that was recently discussed on my blog and it’s so sad to hear about these women who are selling their bodies.  I find that there is also an issue of these surrogate mothers choosing to abort when they can’t handle to the pregnancy any longer, but then the questions is asked… Is it my baby or someone else’s baby?  Would the women then have the right to abort someone else’s baby if she chose to?  According to the pro abortion logic, it would be her body and her choice, right?  I encourage you to read this blog about surrogacy, abortion, and surrogate mothers from China: http://www.timmerie.com/2011/06/its-national-fertility-awareness-month.html

  • Lana

    Intimidation is what the prolife movement is all about. Don’t kid yourself.

  • Lana

    Troy Neuman, Flip Benham and others, along with their minions intimidate anyone affiliated with abortion doctors including telling landlords not to rent to doctors who perform abortions, medical waste haulers not to haul their waste, suppliers not to supply products and services. They are no different than the mafia for which RICO laws should apply.

  • MrsKathyMyers

    Jewels: You are a fantastic writer and a very courageous person. Not many would publicly admit that they had been on the wrong side of an issue. Thank you for telling the truth, and for all that you do for “LIFE”. Sincerely, Kathy Myers, PHL 

  • Edith

    Jewels’ story had me in tears from the beginning.  I have been involved int he Pro-Life Movement in various ways since the early 1980s.  I have prayed, sung, been arrested, donated much time and money to many different pro-life groups, sidewalk counseled, written umpteen letters and been involved in much sidewalk praying throughout all those years.  I have friends who have sheltered girls who have been put out of their homes because of refusing to abort, caring for them in their own homes and setting up some of them in their own apartments after baby’s birth.  For these reasons, after crying with Jewels, I was dismayed to read the line where she states “gone are the days of outright intimidation and harassment.”  This was always a truly huge lie of the abortion supporters.  Except for maybe a couple of crazies who were never part of the Pro-Life Movement, there has never been anything but love, support, caring and concern for mothers, babies, and clinic workers over all the years since the beginning.  I just wanted to set the record straight with Jewels who couldn’t possibly have known this but believe me, it is true.  We are blessed by the witness of Jewels and Abby and others who have come to know the truth because so many have been commited to this cause from the beginning and will be faithful until no other innocent child has to die.

  • Youngsr2nk3

    Thiere is another group helping mother’s with adverse prenatal diagnoses or who have given birth and don’t want their child. It is http://www.chask.org/index.htm