Is there a “magic formula” to make everyone in society happier and live longer, while providing a safer environment for children and making the economy more prosperous and stable? Live Action’s founder and president Lila Rose says there is: it’s called marriage.
In the latest video from Live Action’s “Truth About Sex” series, Rose explores the many benefits of marriage and discusses some of the things that have led to declining marriage rates today.
“Historically speaking, there are two main options for sexual behavior in society,” Rose says. “Monogamy and polygamy.” She defines monogamy as the practice of being married to one person at a time; marriage is the covenant or promise that unites man and woman to each other and to any children they may have. Polygamy, on the other hand, is one person being married to multiple spouses. Because of the differences between men and women, when one sees a multiple-spouse arrangement, it is almost always one man who is married to multiple wives — not the other way around. Even in societies predominant in polyamory, in which men and women are both free to have sex with whomever they wish, it is more often the man who has multiple sexual partners.
Rose goes on to say that marriage has a host of benefits for both individuals and society, noting that marriage, not cohabitation, is the key to society experiencing the benefits of monogamy.
Rose points out that children are better protected when their parents are married, noting that 87 percent of children who are aborted are conceived by unwed parents. She states that children who live in cohabitating households in which their parents are not married are more likely to suffer from a variety of problems, including higher rates of depression, drug use, and dropping out of high school.
Rose also says that those in married relationships have more sex, better emotional bonds, and are more satisfied than those in polygamous relationships, noting that married people are four times wealthier, live longer, and have fewer sexually transmitted infections than their unmarried counterparts.
Based on the statistics Rose presents, she points out that marriage is clearly superior. So why, she asks, aren’t more people getting married, and why are marriage rates on the decline? She says there are six major obstacles to monogamy: contraception and abortion, sex before marriage, divorce, abuse, cultural perception of marriage, and the screen.
She discusses how the rise in abortion and contraception have separated sex from commitment, leading to widespread sex outside of marriage. Today, less than half of American children are growing up in homes in which their parents are still married to each other. This also leads to greater divorce, as data has shown that if you have premarital sex, you are more likely to cheat on your spouse once married. In turn, children of divorce are also less likely to marry, or may be more likely to get divorced if they do marry.
Rose notes that the media often portrays marriage as a patriarchal institution or a “ball and chain” — a perception she says needs to change. “Spouse and kids are presented as an obstacle to one’s personal realization and ambitions,” she notes. “We have to show people that a healthy marriage and family is a dream come true.”
Finally, Rose says that screens (i.e., phones, televisions, and computers) are a major obstacle to marriage. This includes pornography, widespread and addictive social media use, video games, movies, and television. “We are replacing personal interaction with other humans with our screens,” she says, “and this wreaks havoc on the dating world and it can wreak havoc on a marriage, crippling communication and bonding.”
“What are the solutions?” Rose asks. She says data shows that over 70% of high school seniors still say they would like to get married, but sometime after that things seem to change and the rates drop. Society needs to reach these young people and guide them on how to prepare for marriage and family, and how to be financially responsible. She says it’s also important to promote marriage for what it truly is, and recognize its inherent goodness.
“The future is family,” she says. “And at the heart of healthy families is marriage.”
