(Save the Storks) One month past my 19th birthday, I found out I was pregnant. I was not ready to have a baby. I was not ready emotionally or financially.
I was stuck in an abusive and controlling relationship and already feeling like a failure. My grades were failing as it was and I wondered how I could possibly finish my nursing degree with a baby.
My boyfriend immediately said I needed to get an abortion.
At that point I was pro-choice, so I decided to look into my options. I had no insurance at the time, so I turned to the place where I could go over my options without needing insurance. The website promised care, and promised to give me my options so I made an appointment. I may have been pro-choice, but I still believed that choice included life for my baby.
I walked into the clinic feeling desperate and terrified.
When I sat down with the worker, I was not given the options I was expecting. I was given plenty of information on abortion, but I wanted to know more. I was told to check the internet for resources on adoption and parenting.
They didn’t help with those options.
I was on my own if I wanted to choose life. I was given choices, yes, but they consisted of a pill, or a knife. I walked out feeling more afraid and alone than I did walking in.
I had that small voice pushing me to research more. The appointment left me with unanswered questions. I looked into what abortion would really mean for my baby and I looked deeper into Planned Parenthood.
A couple hours later I was laying on the couch sobbing. I was so sad for almost ending my baby’s life, and I was terrified about what this would mean for my future.
That’s when I promised my baby I would protect her.
My daughter is now four. While I can’t say life has been a breeze, I can say she saved me. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without her. I cannot imagine life without her. What was supposed to be the end of me, was really the beginning.
I am out of that relationship and set to be married to a wonderful and loving man. Next year I will finally graduate and be an RN.
I can see now why so many women opt for an abortion. I know the fear and confusion. When they don’t know where to turn, they turn to the place known best for offering care and options for women. Unfortunately, like in my case, that isn’t what is given.
For this reason, and because I came so close to an abortion, I will never judge someone who chose one. I will fight to prevent them, but I will never look down on a woman who has chosen abortion.
If it were up to me, every woman would go to a pregnancy center designed to give women the whole truth, not just a half-truth.
Editor’s note: This article originally appeared at Save the Storks, and is reprinted here with permission.
