In a People magazine exclusive, college student Ben Sanderson explained that growing up, he knew he was conceived using a sperm donor. He also knew that when he turned 18, he would be able to search for his biological father and any siblings he may have in the world. So after he turned 18, he did just that and learned he has at least 40 half-siblings.
In a video on TikTok, Sanderson said, “Put a finger down if you were conceived through a sperm donor and were told that you would die never knowing your dad’s name or what he looked liked or, you know, anything important. But you were told that when you turned 18 you could go looking for your half siblings and it was about a year ago when you’re sitting in your bed alone on a Sunday and you were bored and you’re like, ‘what should I do today?’ And you thought, ‘Wait… I’m 18. I can go look for my half-siblings.’ And you call your mom…”
@thebensanderson #putafingerdown #storytime #donorconceived #donorconception ♬ original sound – BEN SANDERSON
Together, Sanderson and his mother logged into the sperm bank’s website where they found the sibling registry and a chat room where siblings of the same donor can leave messages for each other. He found a message from 11 years earlier from a half-sister.
He continued on TikTok, “[A] couple days later you get in touch with one of your sisters and she’s super excited to meet you. And you follow each other on social media and you think that’s kind of the only one you got in touch with so you’re like, ‘Great. Okay, I guess I have a sister.’ And then all of a sudden, a bunch of other people start following you on Instagram and they’re mutuals with your sister.”
A second sister contacted him and asked to add him to the sibling group chat. She asked if he knew how many siblings there were. Sanderson said he assumed there were no more than 10 because “that’s the law.” But, he soon learned there were 40 of them and he was number 41 and the youngest.
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He was also able to learn their biological father’s name, see photos of him, and get his email to contact him. He called his mother, who started to cry.
So far, Sanderson has found 17 older sisters and 23 older brothers, including four sets of twins. He has traveled to meet some of them in person, and while some don’t want to have a ‘sibling-type’ relationship, there are many that do. He has also been able to have communication with his biological father, whom he now refers to as his dad.
“You know what it’s like to have 40 siblings? It’s overwhelming,” Sanderson said. “That’s a lot of happy birthdays, a lot of Merry Christmases and a lot of weddings. And as the youngest, it also means receiving 40 phone calls if a sibling passes away. It’s a huge network of relationships, but I love it, and so do my siblings.”
He said he looks forward to the possibility of more siblings reaching out in the future.
